Proverbs 25:28 Broken walls

²⁸ Like a city whose walls are broken through
    is a person who lacks self-control.

It's awfully hard to control our own will, our desires, our emotions, and our minds. Our Father knows that, and has provided help for us. 

But you know who else knows that? And will use it against us? Satan. Yep, the devil knows exactly how difficult it is, and he is happy to use it for his own devious, awful purposes.

You see, Satan knows (and we should, too) that if we don't control our emotions and will, we are just like a defenseless city: walls broken through, gates falling down. We'll be blown this way and that, like a leaf in a strong wind.  Our relationships with others will be awkward, with those who like or love us constantly wondering, "did I say something to set (insert name here) off?" 

If you are one of those people who has a short fuse, there is something that you can do. God's word can be the best medicine to heal a life and to heal relationships, too. Begin by reading the Bible and asking God to show you what you need, each day. Select small portions of the Scriptures to memorize, and let them become part of you.

When we pray and ask our Father to control us, and try not to let our emotions and will control us, He can help and comfort us. When Satan puts that certain person in our path, that knows just the "right buttons" to push, we can quickly ask God to assist us. Then, instead of exploding and harming our testimony, we can react in a better way. And you know what? That whole process is what is known as "sanctification," which is something that Jesus prayed for, for His disciples and for us. (It simply means to be set aside for God's purpose, and so becoming more and more like Christ.)

John 17:17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.  

Proverbs 25:27 Glory be!

 27
         It is not good to eat too much honey, nor is it honorable to seek one's own honor.

When I looked at the King James translation of this verse, I noticed that the second part read this way: "for men to search for their own glory is not glory."
It's human nature to seek the glory. And it's in our nature to give glory. Sometimes, tho, it's easy to get wrapped up in the glory of things that don't matter in the long run . . .

This time of year, a huge percentage of our population gets caught up in sports fever. Names become famous overnight --- who threw the longest completed pass, who made the longest touchdown run, who made that fantastic tackle that stopped the runner and saved the game, etc., etc.
It's ironic that the same things can happen in the lives of Christians --- who has the largest church, who has to hold several services on Sunday to fit everyone in, who has the largest program of giving and missions, etc., etc.

Sound familiar?
All of these things are good things to strive for, and wonderful to accomplish, but to whom are we giving the glory? That is what we must be careful of.
Giving God the credit for what He has helped us to accomplish is the best way to avoid the traps of self-glorification and pride. Listen to what Paul said in I Corinthians chapter one: "Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."  Sounds like Paul is quoting from an Old Testament scripture, doesn't it? Let's check out Jeremiah 9:23-24:

²³ This is what the Lord says:

“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
    or the strong boast of their strength
    or the rich boast of their riches,
²⁴ but let the one who boasts boast about this:
    that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
    justice and righteousness on earth,
    for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord.

If we seek God's glory, and praise His name in all things, then we are putting the credit and the glory right where it belongs!

Proverbs 25:26 Don't muddy the water

²⁶ Like a muddied spring or a polluted well
    are the righteous who give way to the wicked.

I did some study on this verse, and what the NIV translates as "give way" here, has the meaning of falling down in front of -- this can be a moral falling or a lack of accountability. Let me explain what I mean. . .

When a spring or a well has been muddied, or polluted, it's pretty much worthless at that point. You can't water your animals --- they'll turn up their noses sometimes. You can't draw water for your household --- who would want to drink it, or wash in it? It really isn't useful after it has become dirty.

I'm sure that everyone has seen or heard of a situation where a Christian of some renown, whether a pastor, and evangelist, or just a well-known layperson, has been caught in a moral "fail." Sometimes a major one. For a while, that's all you hear about: the sin, the why, the wherefore, the when, and lots of gory details. The newspapers, the blogs, and the networks have a field day mocking and denouncing the Christian faith. It sounds like the situation David the king found himself in, when the prophet Nathan told him, "by this deed thous hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme..." (II Samuel 12:14a, King James version)
Matthew Henry's commentary gives a second meaning to the verse. He notes that when a good man or woman, indwelt by the Holy Spirit, is afraid to "call" the wicked on their sin, and instead is fearful to hold them accountable, then that person has "given way" to the wicked, and this verse applies to him or her. We've discussed before that there are ways to confront a person that God has placed in our pathway, so that we have an opportunity to witness. There are kind and gracious ways to do it --- but if instead, we turn away, or worse yet, condone the sin, then we will be held accountable for our omission. I've even known an unsaved person to point out that lack of witness in someone before; to them, it was a sign of hypocrisy.

We must remember what Jesus told us:

 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

If we deliberately do wrong, and fall, or if we deliberately refrain from witnessing, the world will grab that and look upon it as hypocrisy. We must be careful to keep our testimony "straight as an arrow" as Peter told us: 

 Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. (I Peter 2:11-12)

Let's be careful not to muddy the water!

Proverbs 25:25 Good news!

²⁵ Like cold water to a weary soul
    is good news from a distant land.

When I read this verse and began to study, I was drawn down memory lane. You'll have to pardon me, but I recalled when our vocal ensemble was preparing for a tour. Our director had chosen a spiritual for us to work on, called "Poor Man Lazrus." At first, when we sightread through the music, we were all giggling, because as teenagers, it was cause for merriment to be able to say the word "hell" in song --- after all, we weren't supposed to say it! After we'd calmed down and digested the gospel message contained in the spiritual, it became one of our most treasured songs, and we were able to point listeners to Christ in the services when we sang, by delivering this song with all our hearts.

I know that you can find it on Youtube if you wish to hear it, but I just want to note the lyrics here for you:
Poor man Lazrus, sick and disabled,
He had to eat crumbs from the rich man's table.
Rich man Dives, he lived so well,
But when he died, he went straight to hell.
Dip your fingers in the water, come and cool my tongue, 'cause I'm tormented in the flame....

Let's pause for a moment and look at the gospel of Luke. In chapter 16, verses 19-31 tell us the story. In mortal life, Lazarus was a poor man, who was only able to reach for and receive the crumbs from the rich man's table.  Dives (this word means "rich man" and may not be his actual name), on the other hand, lived well. Plenty to eat and drink, and high quality, too. And yet, we can see from the parable that he had little compassion for Lazarus - gave him nothing. He was lucky to get whatever crumbs he could from Dives table. What a contrast in the after-life: Lazarus was comfortably resting in the fellowship of Father Abraham, while Dives was tormented in the flames of hell. He asked first for a few drops of water -- just what would cling to Lazarus' fingertips and be shaken out onto Dives' tongue . . . when Abraham told him how dire (and how permanent) his situation was, he suddenly changed gears and asked for his five brothers to be told of his plight --- he wanted them to be able to avoid the hell he found himself in.

Just like that cold water would have been to Dives, so is our good news that we can, and should share with others. Our good news is the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is the good news from a far country, for all of the souls that are thirsty for God's love. Let's share this gospel --- first, by our behavior and words, and quiet testimony of how we live. Then, as others are drawn to the Spirit in us, let us answer their questions of how we have peace and contentment, and forgiveness of sins -- how we have hope for eternal life with our Father. That's good news!

Proverbs 25: 23 -24 Sly and quarrelsome - twin problems

²³ Like a north wind that brings unexpected rain
    is a sly tongue—which provokes a horrified look.

²⁴ Better to live on a corner of the roof
    than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. 

Solomon addresses two issues here, but they are related. They are both problems of the tongue. 

In verse 23, a sly tongue is compared to a cold wind that is bringing an unexpected storm --- and indeed, a conniving tongue can definitely result in some stormy weather for the person who is being spoken or gossiped about. We must remove gossip, backbiting, and sly words from our vocabularies; they can destroy families, friendships and even congregations! 

In verse 24, we are reminded of Solomon's words in the 21st chapter of Proverbs, which tells us essentially the same thing. I was able to find a drawing that represents a home of Biblical times, showing the ingenious use of the rooftops for more space, and more ventilation. Solomon is telling us that it would be better to live in one tiny corner of one of those rooftops, than to share a house with a quarrelsome spouse.
The thesaurus notes a great many synonyms for "quarrelsome" --- argumentative, cross, peevish, bad-tempered, thin-skinned, petulant . . . hmmm, thin-skinned, eh? How many times have I jumped at someone's comment, to find that they didn't mean it in a negative way?  Petulant? How many times have I agreed with my spouse, but made certain that my tone showed my disappointment? You mean, I've been a quarrelsome wife? Ouch!

1 Peter 3:9-11
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.

Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Let's be determined to guard our tongues!

Proverbs 25: 21-22 How to be an overcomer

²¹ If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
    if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
²² In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
    and the Lord will reward you. 

Anybody besides me have trouble with this in their lives? Honestly? Come on! It's a lot easier to just look and act and sound all spiritual, but actually putting it into practice . . . that's a whole different animal.

It's perfectly natural (ie., human) to want to hurt those who hurt us. That's the way of the world. You do something spiteful to me, I do something spiteful back at you.

Oh, but wait a minute. We are told to be "in" the world, but not "of" the world. Ya think that means we shouldn't "get back" at that person? If you think that, you'd be right.

Jesus reinforced this concept when He told His listeners, " But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you." (Luke 6:27-28)
Again, these may be some of the toughest verses to obey in our daily lives. And many Christian brothers and sisters will peer past these to other verses that they like better. Ones that are not so tough to act upon. But we can't pick and choose -- we must pay attention to all of the verses!
Paul gently reminded us of these, in his letter to the Romans:

 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;  if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Did you notice the last sentence? "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." That, I believe, is the key.  We can't allow ourselves to be vanquished, or subdued, by the injuries of others. We cannot allow our kindness, our good temper, our testimony to be ruffled and then damaged by opposition --- our self control will show the power of the gospel!
Instead, overcome evil with good - what I mean is that we should vanquish and subdue evil by doing good to others. We can show them the loveliness of a sweet spirit, the power of kindness, and the value of a friendly, agreeable attitude. In so doing, we may disarm them of their own spitefulness, and be the means of bringing them to a relationship with Christ.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I stepped on my own toes today, and I'm going to go and soak them a little (and pray). 

Proverbs 25:20 What can I say?

²⁰ Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day,
    or like vinegar poured on a wound,
    is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.

I'll never forget the time that I was with a group of grieving family members who had experienced their loss within the last twenty-four hours, and hearing one of the extended family chirping cheerfully about how many times they'd experienced the same thing, and how everyone should just "buck up." 
That floored me.
Even Job's friends, who are criticized for their lack of understanding, waited with Job for seven days before they opened their mouths! (Check it out for yourself: Job 2:11-13)
In Romans, Paul gives advice that goes right along with Solomon's words:

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.  Romans 12:15

When you are suffering, and mourning, it seems there is a huge weight on top of you. In your mind, you know that "this too shall pass" and that if that person was a Christian, you will see them again. But your heart is heavy, because you loved and enjoyed that person's company -- and you can't experience that pleasure for a while now, till heaven. 
You are not yet ready to hear that "at least they are not in pain" or "they are in a better place" or that some good will come out of the situation.
And most of the time, the person who says, "I know just how you feel" really doesn't. Some do, of course, but too many mouth the words and don't really know.

Now, those are the negatives; let's look at what we can and should do:
As Christians, we need to be sensitive to the sufferings of others. The absolute best thing that we can do for a friend who is in grief is just . . . be there. Show your support by your quiet presence. Don't try to make things better, and don't, don't make light of that person's suffering. Sorrow and grief are complex processes that people have to go through --- it doesn't make them any less a Christian if they mourn and cry. Even though the pain they feel may never go completely away, it will change. It just takes time.
The time for talking will come. Comfort quietly first, and pray for them, that His peace will enfold them.