Please refresh your memory of our verses by re-reading them, either in your own Bible, or in the post below this one.
"Which one of us?"
The question is in all of their minds.
There is Thomas sitting there. He says, "Could He mean it is me? I know, I am called the doubter sometimes. I don't always accept everything that is said, without some added explanations. But I think that is just my being cautious -- it doesn't mean I'm bad, does it? I love Jesus and I want to serve Him. I couldn't be the one to betray Him, could I?
Matthew thinks, "My name even means 'gift of God' . . . it couldn't be me! I've given up that life of stealing from others and trying to squeeze money out of everyone. I used to be a horrible thief, but I gave that up and I'm not looking back! Everyone hated me, because of my sin of usury, but I won't turn my back on Jesus. What in the world could convince me to do that? Oh, please tell me that I'm not the one!"
If we were to continue around the room, and look into the hearts of Bartholomew, the "other" James (the son of Alphasus), Thaddaeus and Simon the Canaanite, we would see that all of them were asking themselves, "Could it be me? Seriously?" "I love being a disciple of Jesus, and I want to inherit a position in His kingdom. It couldn't really be one of us, could it?"
Even Judas Iscariot is saying that it couldn't be him. He was a master at putting on such a good show that no one suspected him of anything. He was trusted implicitly -- after all, Jesus and the disciples had made him the treasurer . . . "If I wanted to be a thief," he might have been thinking, "I could do that very easily. I really do love the position and the title, and the access to the money! I'm never broke like the rest of them, since I have the whole treasury. Look here, I'm sitting really close to Jesus, so they can't suspect me. There's no need to worry about my true nature being revealed, because my secret is mine alone."
Who was the betrayer at the table? Well, of course we know. It was Judas, but no one else knew it that day, except for our Lord Jesus. And he was just about ready to expose that sinful character that was sitting at the table with all the rest.
Jesus answered, He it is, to whom I shall give a sop, when I have dipped it.
And when He had dipped the sop, He gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of
Simon. (John 13:26)
Jesus took a piece of bread, and sopped it, and then handed it to Judas.
I'd be willing to bet that you could have heard a crumb hit the floor at that moment.
Come back tomorrow to finish this with us, if you will . . .
I think sometimes we don't become convicted of a sin until it is exposed. Sad, but true. Can you imagine how Judas felt knowing Jesus knew what he was about to do? Maybe he was in denial, telling himself Jesus couldn't really know. He was just guessing. He had an opportunity to back out before he left the room, but his greed and the hand of the devil was driving him on.
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