Smothers fires..... and works like glue

I never realized that something that extinguishes fires could also hold things together, did you? We'll see that today....

We've touched on a lot of important themes the past week or so. One has been that forgiveness can overcome many of the negatives in our lives: anger, resentment, bitterness.
Forgiveness and love walk hand-in-hand.
We talked last time about how when love is at work, the offense someone has done to us is dealt with and we move on. That is the timeline of true, overcoming forgiveness; that is how it works. We throw a real monkey-wrench into the mix when we repeat the offense to another. When we talk about it. We run the risk of separating friends, and also of being a troublemaker.

Whoever would foster love covers over an offense,    but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)

When we spread the news of an offense, and repeat it to others, that's not love being promoted. We're not pushing love to the forefront. On the flip side of the coin, if we keep it to ourselves, and the matter dies with us, then we have done well.
We've utilized both love and forgiveness in order to smother the fires of bitterness, anger, and more. We've deprived hatred of oxygen, and it dies out.

This verse might be the best fire-smotherer of all:

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (I Corinthians 13:7)

See that last part? "Keeps no record of wrongs..." If I'm holding something against someone, I'm not loving them. Well, that doesn't mean that I don't love them at all, but if I'm keeping score, I'm not being ruled by love. I don't ignore the wrong -- as we said last week, I choose to forget it and move on. And the fires of resentment and bitterness are snuffed right out!

A practical application here: are we keeping a record of the wrong because it hasn't been dealt with? Because the person hasn't asked us to forgive them? Surely, that justifies leaving those fires burning, right?
Nope.
Remember what we said before? It may not be easier for us to forgive, but it will be easier ON us if we do!  Unforgiveness eats away at us like a ferocious monster. It tears us up. We can be trying to "live peaceable with all men" and this unresolved matter keeps occupying our thoughts. Every time we think on it, our blood pressure goes up. We begin to get irritable, our stress levels go up..... the chain reaction, the fires that are not yet smothered, eat away at us.
Does any of this benefit us?  Well, no. It certainly doesn't. Now, the person who committed the offense may NEVER ask for forgiveness, but that doesn't mean that we need to keep the fires burning.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)

We've come full circle: we've come back to remembering that we don't deserve His grace any more than the other person; so we can find it in our heart to forgive. To smother the fires with forgiveness and with love.

Would you look back at Colossians with me for a moment? I caught a glimpse of the "working like glue" part.....

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)

So, the second part of true, overcoming forgiveness is the "glue" of love. There's a list of virtues there for us as believers, and love is the glue that holds them all together! I can't show compassion or kindness unless I have love. There is no gentleness or patience without love. I can't bear with you and forgive you unless I have love....
You and I both know there are things that rankle us about other people. Never mind that some of our habits or mannerisms may irritate them..... (Grin) Some things are minor, and some are major, but they can all be handled with love. After all, being testy, irritated, frustrated, or easily angered are not responses based in love. We've all been there, no?
The key to having patience and tolerance, the glue that holds it all together, is love. Love allows us to deal with difficult people. (It also allows them to deal with us, just sayin'.) Love allows us to not over-react. To remain calm. Love is the glue that holds me together when I need to smother a fire with forgiveness.

Tomorrow we'll visit the issue of forgiving ourselves....sometimes that is a real problem for us as believers.