The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy.
I once knew a man that almost committed suicide. He was college age and had partied until there was no party left in him. He was at the end. He was in his dorm room with his gun ready in hand. He looked down on his night stand and picked up a Gideon Bible. Right then and there, his heart broke and God brought him up and used him in a mighty way. He went on (and is still) a great youth worker. He's shared Christ with literally hundreds of teenagers. I just saw him a couple of months ago. He was driving a beat up car, and him and his wife were loading the trunk with something for some youth event.I watched from a distance a bit...remembering him as I first met him some 25 plus years ago. He's aged, but his countenance shows happiness. I stopped him, told him who I was and gave him a hug for being such a man of God.
This man's heart was at the most bitter, lowest of low spots it could be...but God was able to bring him up out of that mess to do great and mighty things!
God knows our heart like no one else. He knows our lowest lows and highest highs. I have something that I say all the time to my children as people tend to judge me about my past. When I am in the midst of judgment, I just say to myself and my children, "God knows". My heart is best left in His hands.
Perhaps for your quiet time today you can think of two times in your life---one being one of your lowest, most bitter, moments when you felt you just couldn't go on...and the other being a time when you felt so happy you just bubbled and couldn't contain it.
Thank God for both and share even if you would like.
--Tonya--
I'm going through one of those times right now...I would be a quivering mass of protoplasm were it not for the tight hold I have on Christ Jesus' hand. I could not make it without Him, and I pray so often nothing but thanks to Him for being my comfort. As the old song says, "He keeps me singing." :)
ReplyDeleteIf you could feel the emotions from reading this - I was helped like this gent was and ever since I always keep that memory alive so that I never fall that hard again - a trip or two sure but never a fall like that...
ReplyDeleteHugs to both of you. I have had those times before as well. But we all learn through them if we choose, as you two have done. My poor husband is climbing in spite of his situation as well. Some day our Christ will come!
ReplyDeleteThere was a time about 11 years ago, that I was so depressed, I prayed that God would just go ahead and take me. I never would have contemplated suicide, but did pray often for an end. Praise God who brings us up from the pit!
ReplyDeleteThat's really the only deep dark, bitter time for me, aside from losing my parents, but there have been so many highs. Too many to count, but one that sticks out in my mind is the time of joyful tears at the news my daughter was expecting. Talk about bubbling!!!!