Behavior 101 - Dealing with others

We mentioned at the start of this week's study that our behavior, and the harmony or unity that we encourage, has a lot to do with how effective our witness can be. Let's look more at how to Biblically deal with others . . .
Here's part of our study passage again:

Live in peace with each other. 14 And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. (I Thessalonians 5:13b-15)

This is really basic stuff, right? Right! These are the kinds of things that lead to healthy relationships and effective witnessing. (And might just hold a congregation together. Just sayin'.)

The very first admonition up there is to live in peace with each other. If you have ever been around (or in) a church, a family, or another group that's filled with friction, you know that it's not fun! Constant tension and stress wears on people. Conflict is not the "norm" that we are striving for -- and we have plenty of guidance to be peaceful with each other.

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.  (Romans 12:18)

Sure it's hard. And it's not always our fault when things go awry. The verse above says "as much as depends on you," so we just need to make sure that we are not the ones sowing seeds of conflict. Don't be the one that causes the rift!
We are asked to make every effort -- not half-heartedly, but really trying:

endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:3)

We know the key to that unity:

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; (Romans 12:10)

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

We may have some difficult people to deal with, but with God's help, we can live at peace with others.
Dealing with others? Let's not forget that we are all individuals. Paul mentions only three types of people here, but there are many more! He says to warn the idle, to encourage the timid, and to help the weak.
Wow. Let's take this one step at a time...
The word Paul used there could mean idle, and could also mean wayward or undisciplined. The person in this category need to be gently and Biblically corrected and warned. Given instruction on how to do better.
The timid and the weak don't need correction - they need encouragement and possibly assistance. It's important to listen and to understand peoples' needs -- they are individuals and we need to treat them as Christ would.
Part of treating them as He would involves the next phrase Paul uses. We need to be patient with everyone: the leaders, the followers, the idle, the timid, and the weak!

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (II Peter 3:9)

I don't guess any of us have a right to be impatient with others, when God has been so patient with us.
Continuing in our study of Behavior 101, Paul reminds us not to be vengeful. It's not up to us to "give pay back." It's not our job to retaliate. Vengeance belongs to the Lord, and the Spirit will help us to trust Him for justice. The people in Thessalonica that Paul was writing to, were facing persecution. They were told not to seek vengeance, but to overcome evil with good.
Finally, Paul tells us to be kind. Sincerely.

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. (Luke 6:35)

Hard to do sometimes? Surely. But it's a fruit of the Spirit, and it's do-able!

Dealing with others and maintaining unity is sometimes difficult. But we are facing a common enemy. Remember? If there's one thing that should be common sense in the church today, it's that we need to present a united front to the devil.
I thought this illustration was very apt:

Just before the battle of Trafalgar, Nelson inquired of Admiral Collingwood where his captain was, and learned that he and Captain Rotherham were not on good terms with each other. Sending a boat for the captain, he placed the hands of Collingwood and Rotherham together, pointed to the enemy's ships, and earnestly looking them both in the face, he uttered the simple words: 'Look, yonder is the enemy.' It was enough; disagreements were forgotten, and victory was gained. (Hy Pickering)

Our unity and our ability to deal graciously with others will have long-lasting benefits:

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together as one for the faith of the gospel 28 without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. (Philippians 1:27-28)

We'll conclude our study tomorrow.