Permissiveness in our homes

Today we are rejoining Nehemiah when he returned from his trip to Persia - I imagine his coming "home" to Jerusalem was a joyful experience for him, and for many of the Jewish people . . . but what Nehemiah found on his return was not as happy as he'd hoped.

Permissiveness and compromise had allowed sin to creep in. We've seen already that spiritual compromise had resulted in problems of faith, and of finances, and of the ways the people spent their time. Their priorities had slipped, that is for sure! 

Today, we will look at some verses that tell us permissiveness had even affected their homes.

In those days I also saw that the Jews had married women from Ashdod, Ammon and Moab. 24 As for their children, half spoke in the language of Ashdod, and none of them was able to speak the language of Judah, but the language of his own people. (Nehemiah 13:23-24))

AGAIN?
SERIOUSLY?

These people have the shortest memories on record . . .  Sorry, I digress. (Grin)

But it IS kinda hard to believe that they would let this happen again.

Ezra had corrected this problem just a few years before, but it had happened again. Nehemiah discovered that not only had some of the Jews married foreign ladies, but that these women apparently could care less about being part of the community and honoring the covenant -- that's obvious because the children were being taught the language of the mother, not Hebrew. (I expect that means that they were clinging to their gods, as well, and probably had idols in the homes. But that's conjecture on my part.)

The children could not speak Hebrew.

This would mean that they could not understand the scriptures.

It would be impossible for the fathers, the heads of the families, to instruct them in the knowledge and worship of God.

Marrying unbelievers, and maintaining close relationships with unsaved friends doesn't only affect us, although it certainly will.

It also has a negative impact on our children. They will grow up "speaking the language" of the world. They will have the mindset and outlook of the world, and not understand the things of God.

 

There are two areas we will talk about today: the first is relationships and the second is environment.

Relationships first . . . 

There is probably no more vulnerable area of our lives than the emotional attachments that we form with the opposite sex -- unless it's the friendships that we choose.

The devil didn't approach the Israelite men and say, "Hey, take a look at this sexy lady from Moab! She's hot, isn't she? And she will get you in hot water because she'll lead you astray from your faith and cause no end of heartache, too!"

However, the devil does sidle up to Christian teens today and tell them, "Your parents are ridiculously strict! They just don't know what it's like today! You're missing out on the fun and you'll look stupid if you don't go to this party and have fun! Get out there and enjoy yourself with these sexy people!"

Before we know it, the unbelieving person has us compromising our morals. They may promise to go to church; they may promise to follow God; but after the marriage, time and time again, the train runs off the track somehow and pulls the Christian right away from their faith. Plus, when the children come along, there is no unity in the home, and they are pulled this way and that. They don't know what to believe. With bickering, resentment, and frustration, is it any wonder that many marriages end up as just another number in a list of statistics on divorce?

Paul told us this in II Corinthians:

 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (II Corinthians 6:14)

And here is an example from the pages of our Bible:

King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. 2 They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. 3 He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. 4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. 5 He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molek the detestable god of the Ammonites. 6 So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done. (I Kings 11:1-3)

Like we mentioned up there, permissiveness in friendships can cause problems, too. If you throw some tools into a bag and carry it around for a while, throwing it into the back of your truck, pulling it out and you miss and it hits the ground . . . . the tools strike each other or vibrate because of the truck movement...... you'll find the tools will have marks on them. Not a great analogy, but here is what Solomon said (before those women got ahold of him):

As iron sharpens iron,

    so one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

Walk with the wise and become wise,

    for a companion of fools suffers harm. (Proverbs 13:20)

Paul agreed with him, even though before he wrote it down, the scholars say a Greek poet (Menander) said it, too:

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (I Corinthians 15:33)

And let's look for a moment at the examples that we are setting for children. Whether they are our kids, our grandkids, or the kids next door, do they see compromise in our lives? Personally, I cringe when I see a liquor cabinet in a home where children live and play. Kids see adults at parties with adult beverages, they see television programming that is "just for mom and dad," and they hear jokes about use of drugs when young, talk of cheating on taxes (or other things), talking about "getting ahead" of the other guy, or how the end justifies the means . . .

As my grandma used to say, "Little pitchers have big ears!"

(Ever wonder where that came from? In medieval England, the handles on pitchers were called ears, and of course we do know that kids listen and watch and learn . . . .)

Ya think maybe that's why we see this in Deuteronomy?

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:5-9)

Oh, dear Christian, moral permissiveness always seems like it's so innocent at first. So tiny. So inconsequential. But it subtly begins to turn from a trickle to a torrent.  And finally the dam gives way. 

Nehemiah knew this.

And we'll see that he knew how to confront this, and to change it!