Family matters

 

I hope you will all bear with me as I take a break. It should only be about a week.....I need to handle some family matters with prayer, compassion, and tact. I will be back here as soon as I can!

Verses that inspire

 

This verse inspired me recently and I wanted to share:

I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)

It's not easy to keep our eyes on the Lord, is it? 

There is so much "stuff" that needs our attention. But does it really? Do we really need to look at that mobile phone as much as we do? (By all means, if you are traveling and using your phone's GPS, please do continue to consult it, and reach your destination safely!)

You know what I mean.....social media. News reports. So many things of this world clamor for our attention. We're jived up, agitated, irritated, worked up, and nerved up. 

The psalmist said that if he kept his eyes on the Lord, kept Him in his thoughts, that he could not be shaken by anything the world has to offer.

Let's commit today to keep our prayer times and study times a priority and keep our eyes on the Lord!

You know, the wolf in sheep's clothing

 

Today, we start the final passage of chapter one, the book of Titus. This is the last admonition from Paul to Titus, as the younger minister tries to make wise choices for the leadership of the churches in Crete.

Back when we started into the book of Titus, we noted that Paul trusted Titus because of his experiences with the younger man. Titus had handled his assignments in church life quite well, and so Paul was asking him to work now with the new congregations on the island of Crete. Crete is the largest and most heavily populated of the Greek islands. They were known (in fact, they were notorious) for their way of life.... 

The island of Crete has been described as a kind of first-century Wild-Wild-West. (Grin) It was a semi-anarchist type of society, and the people didn't really have a whole lot of social savvy. Sophisticated? Nope. Mostly what would be called "independent spirits" nowadays. I guess it would be like a combination of a Texas cowboy telling tall tales, a prospector from the American Gold Rush who wants to strike it rich quick, and a "I'm-a-do-it-yourselfer"!!

Paul quoted a poet of Crete, Epimendes of Cnossus, in verse twelve of our passage, when he said "Cretans are always liars, pernicious beasts, idle bellies." Their behavior was so well-known in the ancient world that the verb "to cretize" meant to lie or cheat! This is the kind of world that Titus needed to work in. He had to find elders for the churches. This was going to take some discernment! There were plenty of wolves in sheep's clothing in this community!

For there are many rebellious people, full of meaningless talk and deception, especially those of the circumcision group. They must be silenced, because they are disrupting whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach—and that for the sake of dishonest gain. One of Crete’s own prophets has said it: “Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons.” This saying is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the merely human commands of those who reject the truth. To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good. (Titus 1:10-16)

You see, without discernment, we put ourselves in serious jeopardy. Remember the tale of Little Red Riding Hood? It took her a little longer than it should have, but she finally did realize the danger she was in, and escaped with her life!

Many Christians need to take to heart the lesson of Little Red Riding Hood. Discernment will keep you from enemies who want to destroy you. Many wolves prey upon God's flock, and some are masters of deception AND disguise. They can talk like Christians. They can use the Bible. They seem like nice people. But they will draw us in and eat us for dinner!

There have always been false teachers who SAY that they know God, but when we check out their deeds, they deny Him. Satan is always busily raising up false teachers to oppose the teachers of truth. It was happening in Crete, since Paul says "many" deceivers.

Because of Satan's efforts, elders must be men of the Word who will vigilantly guard the flock. They must do two things, according to Paul: they must refute the false teachers and they must also correct any believers who have been drawn in. These are not pleasant tasks, but they must be done. We'll study HOW it's done, next time.

Friday slowdown

 Let us all commit to a life of serving Him!

Teaching the flock, confronting false teachers

 

Paul also tells us that elders should be ready to exhort. That's not a word we hear much nowadays, so let's explore. 

holding firmly the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict it. (Titus 1:9)

"Exhort" can mean to urge to obey, or it can mean to encourage. The word "sound" means healthy. When an elder urges someone to obey sound, biblical doctrine, the result is spiritual health. Foundational doctrines are not the "myths and commandments of men" that Paul mentions later. Biblical doctrine is not speculations about prophecy that have little to do with obedience to God. Instead, godly elders will aim their teaching at building people in the knowledge of God - and in practical, holy living.

In Paul's letters, he places emphasis on both the foundational doctrines and on the practical advice for living. He was writing to many different people in the new churches, and some were illiterate; they would listen to the letters being read aloud. He didn't "talk down" to them, nor did he skip over the "heavy stuff." He assumed that the common folk would be studying the scriptures and his letters just as diligently as the more educated ones - and so he made sure that his letters were full of both - the foundational doctrines and the practical advice that came from those doctrines!

In different passages, the word exhort can also mean to implore, to make an appeal to. Paul uses the same word in his second letter to young Timothy:

preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and exhort, with great patience and instruction. (II Timothy 4:2, NASB)

Paul seems to be saying that the preaching is so important that the elders' hearts must be in their teaching - people must experience the patience and kindness of the elders, but also sense the urgency of understanding these important truths.

Lastly, we come to the part of the verse where Paul says, elders must have courage and confront errors. It's not enough to be positive and teach. Paul is saying that elders must also refute false teaching - doesn't mean they need to be offensive, but they also don't need to be so polite that they "water down" their rejection of false teaching. What happens then? The truth is compromised.

Here in the southland, especially among believers, there is a dangerous concept. It's called "Can't-we-just-Get-Along?" We are so anxious to have unity, to have politeness and avoid conflict, that we come dangerously close to sinful compromise. And sometimes we actually DO cross the line.

We need to remember that the apostles sometimes named the false teachers and dangerous men:

Among these are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan, so that they will be taught not to blaspheme. (I Timothy 1:20)

Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds. (II Timothy 4:14)

I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not accept what we say. ( III John 9)

If Paul had followed the southern church plan, the "Can't we just get along?" plan, he would have said to the Galatians . . . . "you know, those Judaizers are such good members of the community, and we do agree on many things. Let's just set aside the few areas where we disagree ....."

Nope. He denounced them as preaching a false gospel. (You can look it up in the first chapter of Galatians when you have a moment.....)

One of the giants of the Reformation, Martin Luther, did not enjoy controversy. But he came to the conclusion that it was absolutely necessary! Seriously.

When Christians are not doing battle with the devil, or him who bites the heel, that is not a good sign, for it means that he who bites the heel is at peace and has his own way. But when he who bites the heel rages and has no peace, it is a sign that he, being under attack, shall be conquered, for it is Christ who is attacking his house. Therefore whoever desires to see the Christian Church existing in quiet peace, entirely without crosses, without heresy, and without factions, will never see it thus, or else he must view the false church of the devil as the real church. Martin Luther

So, elders need to be godly men, and they need to hold firmly to the Word. They need to teach boldly. We all have probably attended or visited churches where we hear nice, positive, uplifting messages about how believers can succeed in life. But those messages might just convince us that the false doctrines they are teaching are A-OK. If we want to be strong in the Lord, we need to be in a church where the elders preach sound doctrine - and refute those false teachers who contradict God's Word.

Holding fast to the Word - and obeying it

 

Remember our focus verse?

holding firmly the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict it. (Titus 1:9, NIV)

You know from past experience that I like to compare translations; here is one that really gives some assistance in understanding this verse fully:

He must hold firmly to the trustworthy word [of God] as it was taught to him, so that he will be able both to give accurate instruction in sound [reliable, error-free] doctrine and to refute those who contradict [it by explaining their error]. (AMP)

"Holding fast," in some translations, and "hold firmly," in these two, means to hold tightly, to cling to, or to be devoted to. Today we might say that the elder should have firm "convictions." How does the man of God (or the woman of God) gain those convictions? First, by studying and learning the great doctrines of our faith. Applying oneself to the study of God's Word. The more we study, the more we will appreciate how God showed us His grace through Jesus Christ. And the more we study, the more we will understand why these "building blocks" of our faith are SO essential! 

When we study God's Word, it becomes easier to understand how the enemy has subtly introduced ideas that are destructive to our faith and our holy living. We can see in the New Testament, and in other books as well, how errors in doctrine have damaged people's lives and their ability to witness for Christ. It's really inspiring, too, to study men and women who have been willing to die rather than deny God's truth. This strengthens our own convictions to stand strong in the face of pressure to compromise.

Foxe's Book of Martyrs is a book that can be as inspiring as it is terrible. It tells the stories of men, women, and children who refused to deny the gospel. Some were tortured and some died. Remember Pilgrim's Progress? Did you ever read it? The author, John Bunyan, spent twelve years in jail -- he refused to stop preaching without the "license" the authorities said was mandatory. Athanasius was forced into exile seven different times and spent seventeen years in jail, in the era of the 300's AD. He stood firm in his defense of the deity of our Savior. 

Contending for the faith is important. We must be firm on the essentials, but we need wisdom and discernment about where and when to defend the doctrines we believe in. There are some foundational doctrines that we cannot deny, or we are not believers. This is not all, but some examples are: the Trinity, the Sonship and sinless nature of Jesus Christ, His redeeming us on the cross, His coming again, and more. These have huge implications if we decide to ignore or reject them. 

When we contend for the faith, we must do it with love. We absolutely cannot love controversy, or love the feeling of "Yay, I am winning an argument!" but instead, love God and His truth. And we must love people, including those who are in error. Try to pray with them and read the Bible with them, to help them understand God's truths.

Alongside the need for elders to be men of biblical understanding and able to contend for the faith, is the need for them to be biblically obedient. They would be hypocrites if they exhorted people to follow God's Word, and then didn't follow it themselves! Elders must provide good examples, not be like the false teachers:

They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good. (Titus 1:16, NIV)

Of course, no one mortal lives in a state of sinlessness. No one of us is perfect. But the elders must be "above reproach" as Paul said. They cannot have secret sins, nor be living a double life. He cannot be a loving guy at church and an ogre at home. 

Once again, we are looking at qualifications for elders that are traits we, too, should strive for.

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, (II Timothy 2:24-25, NIV)

Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind......Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves.  (I Peter 2:1,16) 

Prayer requests

 

Many of us have children in our lives; some are our kids or grandkids, and some are children in our neighborhood, or in our church family. These little ones are so important - they should be just as loved by us as they were by our Savior.

People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. 16  But Jesus called the children to him and said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17  I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.'" (Luke 18:15-17, NIV)

Children often imitate the behaviors of those around them. They are pretty watchful, and they take in a lot of things that we may not even think they notice! If they witness parents and grandparents (or neighbor-friends) joyfully and lovingly working on a relationship with Jesus, there's a much greater chance of them also knowing Christ.

Including them in prayer time is a wonderful example. It's good to remind children that God speaks to us from the Bible as we read, and that we have the privilege of talking to Him in our prayers. Reading a short passage from the Word is a great start, especially some of the stories and Biblical characters that we are familiar with. We can keep it simple and talk with them about the verses. Ask them how they think the characters in the story felt. Children have wonderful imaginations and their answers may just surprise you!

Ask them to sit with you for a few moments in silence. They will no doubt be watching you, so sit peacefully, with a gentle smile. If you are outdoors, ask them to listen to the wind in the tree leaves, the insects' or birds' songs, or the sound of water. Let them understand that we know God is present in all things.

Lastly, speak a prayer aloud; again, simplicity is best. Let the child hear how frankly and openly you speak to our Father; let them hear the friendship there. Trust that the Spirit will work in their hearts from the seeds you have planted.

If you have a prayer request, please leave a comment to let us know how we may pray along with you.

Elders should be men of the Word

 

Our focus verse for this week is here:

He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. (Titus 1:9, NIV)

holding firmly the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict it. (NASB)

From the time that the snake beguiled Eve in the Garden, to Satan's tempting of our Savior, to the dark ages of ignorance of the Word . . . the enemy has always been attacking the Word of God. The bright flame of the Reformation lit up the world by providing the common men and women a way to read the Bible. Before that, only the priests could read it, since it was in Latin, and few of them did! Martin Luther translated it into German, and the Reformation preachers, evangelists, and translators were off to the races.

More recently, there have been attacks on God's Word by people who question its accuracy, its inerrancy, and even its relevancy to our day. Everyone who professes to know Jesus believes in a theology. Here's the question, though: do they hold to a biblically sound theology? If our doctrine veers away from scripture, we are worshiping a false god. We must grow in understanding the Bible so that we can know God more fully. And so that we can follow Him more closely. 

Paul says that one of the roles of elders is to know the scriptures well enough so that they are able to keep the church in the truth. They need to see and identify Satan's attacks and his attempts to make Christians err. So, they must be godly men who hold firmly to the truth of God's Word, and they must also teach it boldly.

Paul's letter to Timothy emphasizes this teaching role, too:

An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, skillful in teaching, (I Timothy 3:2, NASB)

And here:

The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching. (I Timothy 5:17)

Paul seems to be saying that some elders are so gifted that they can focus on the affairs of the church AND the ministry of teaching the Word. He emphasizes that they are worthy of financial support. Other elders, while they are capable of teaching, have a natural bent toward the areas of oversight and of shepherding the flock. So, every elder must be knowledgeable enough in scripture so that he can help instruct believers and correct doctrine errors when they pop up.

Every elder must be studying and growing in understanding the Word of God. The verse we began with (at the top of the post) stated that they must hold "firmly" to the Word. One translation called it the "faithful" Word, and one called it "trustworthy."  In order to hold it tightly, one must understand it. And to understand it, the elder must study it. This is a lifelong process. Elders must have the desire and the self-discipline to study the Bible diligently, and to read texts that help with understanding sound doctrine.

Friday slowdown

A simple song with simple words.

A powerful message. 

In the sweet by and by, we shall meet on that beautiful shore.

Let's accentuate some more positives!

Today we are finishing up our list from Paul of positive character traits that elders must cultivate. And as we found yesterday, we will find that these are traits all of us believers should strive for, too!

Let's dig in!

Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. (Titus 1:8)

Upright.

What does Paul mean here? This word sometimes is translated "righteous." Since some of Paul's previous qualifications overlapped with that, it may refer to a man who is fair and even-handed in his dealings with other people. He is not partial to the wealthy or the powerful, and he doesn't ignore or belittle people. 

“‘Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly. (Leviticus 19:15, NIV)

An upright elder simply looks at the facts of a matter, weighs them prayerfully, and makes impartial decisions.

Next, Paul mentions that an elder must be holy. The scholars tell us that the word used also carries the meaning of "devout." This is practical holiness. Every day, rain or sun, consistent holy living. Being separate from sin and evil behavior as much as possible. But this doesn't mean being separate from sinners! Our Lord and Savior was a friend of sinners - but a holy elder will take Jesus' example to heart and not carouse with sinners in their sin.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. (Hebrews 12:14) 

Instead, he will try to lead them to repentance. A devout, holy elder takes God seriously, and doesn't take the things of God in a light-hearted, casual manner. He is careful to live in obedience to Him.

Lastly, Paul says that an elder must utilize self-discipline. He uses the same phrase in Corinthians:

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. (I Corinthians 9:25)

In his letter to the church people in Corinth, he referred to an athlete who exercises self-control in all things so that he may get the prize, the wreath of olive leaves. He tries not to do anything that would hinder him from achieving his goal. 

Here in Titus, Paul is emphasizing the holy living that he already talked about. An elder must be careful to have control over harmful desires or habits. He must not shelter anything in his mind or in his life that would stop him from knowing Christ more deeply. He cannot afford to allow things in his life that would keep him from being an effective shepherd of the believers entrusted to his care. 

How does an elder do this? He will use self discipline (train himself, develop the habits) to spend time alone with God, studying the Word, and praying. And we should do this, too: remember the fruit of the Spirit? All of the fruits in this verse (including that last one, self control) .....

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)

 .....these grow in us as we walk daily by means of the Spirit: 

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. (Galatians 5:16)

Paul was trying very hard to make certain that Titus chose just the right elders to lead the churches in Crete. Why was he going into all of this detail? If the elders of a church do not avoid the negative characteristics that we studied, there can be terrible damage to the church. If the elders don't strive to show the positive characteristics, there can also be terrible consequences. When unqualified men are put into leadership, many people are wounded. Some are shaky in their faith, and they leave the church. Unbelievers have the opportunity to mock God and to ridicule the church. People are "turned off" by all of this, and they turn away from the faith that would save them. That is why it is so important to only put into leadership those men who are spiritually mature - in their home life and in their personal character.

We'll continue our study in Titus next week.

Let's accentuate the positive

We are studying the qualifications for a man to be an elder in the New Testament church. We've seen some "negatives," or things that the elder should NOT do. Now, let's look at positive character traits that Paul mentions to Titus:

Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. (Titus 1:8)

 First, an elder must be hospitable. What does that mean?

The Greek word used here literally means "a lover of strangers." This is a quality that every Christian should strive for, but it's especially necessary for elders. 

Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. (Romans 12:13, NIV)

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. (I Peter 4:9)

Many of us have visited a church for the first time and realized that the people there are indifferent to new folks. They almost appear selfish as they greet their friends and yet are aloof from newcomers. Hospitality means that we take an interest in others - a genuine interest - and we try to make them feel welcome and "at home."

Secondly, an elder must love what is good. Instead of spending his time (and filling his mind) with the filth that is on the television and the internet, he fills his mind with what Paul advised:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)

The third quality in our focus verse is translated "self controlled" in the NIV. In the NKJV, it is translated "sober minded." In a different place, the NASB translates the same word as "prudent." 

An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, (I Timothy 3:2)

This means to be of a sound mind, to be a temperate person. This is especially in the sense of not being impulsive. The self-controlled man is not swayed to extremes by emotion. He doesn't "go with his impulses" that could be sinful or harmful. A self-controlled person is level-headed, and lives with God's priorities in mind.

These qualities that we are studying are necessary in the folks we choose to be elders in the church congregation. But aren't they important in our own lives, too? 

You bet they are!

Believers should strive to be hospitable....

Do not neglect hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. (Hebrews 13:2, NASB)

To fill our minds with what is good.....

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:2)

And to be self-controlled.....

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, (James 1:19, NIV)

We'll study more of these "positives" tomorrow.

More "should nots"

We have a couple more "should not" items to wade through, and then we will get to the positive stuff from Paul.

Here is our verse:

Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. (Titus 1:7, NIV)

Paul says an elder should not be addicted to wine and his word here includes all alcoholic beverages. The Bible does not expressly prohibit drinking alcoholic beverages, but it certainly does warn about the danger! Especially for leaders.

Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler;
    whoever is led astray by them is not wise. (Proverbs 20:1) 

It is not for kings, Lemuel—
    it is not for kings to drink wine,
    not for rulers to crave beer,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed,
    and deprive all the oppressed of their rights. (Proverbs 31:4-5)

Paul warned the Ephesians that alcohol led to sin:

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, (Ephesians 5:18)

Church leaders have to be especially careful. Why? Because they must not cause younger believers to stumble. Let's say that a new Christian had previously had a problem with drinking - if he sees an elder drinking and that example causes the new Christian to slip back into his addicted ways, the elder would be responsible to some extent. So, if an elder chooses to drink alcohol at all, he needs to be careful and be an example to the flock that God has entrusted to his care.

Next, Paul says an elder should not be violent. He's not just talking about hitting other people! He also is referring to a man who is verbally combative. Of course, it goes without saying that an elder should never strike anyone, especially his wife and children. Paul's point is that an elder should not be a man who uses violence to solve conflict. Responding to conflict with aggression or being a bully is not a good trait for an elder.

Therefore I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in distresses, in persecutions, in difficulties, in behalf of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (II Corinthians 12:10)

Lastly, Paul says an elder must not pursue dishonest gain. In his letter to Timothy, he phrases it this way:

not overindulging in wine, not a bully, but gentle, not contentious, free from the love of money. (I Timothy 3:3)

Money itself is not evil, but it is dangerous. A greedy man, a man who thinks there's not problem with dishonest ways of making money, is not qualified to be an elder. Greedy men are not godly, and they will be tempted to take advantage of people or of church funds.

Next time we study, we will "accentuate the positive"! 

Management material

We are studying in the first chapter of Titus, and Paul has been giving instructions to the younger minister. He's telling him how to choose the leaders for the new churches in Crete, and last week we saw that elders must have spiritual maturity in their home life.

This week we will focus on the potential elder's maturity in his personal character:

For the overseer must be beyond reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not overindulging in wine, not a bully, not greedy for money, but hospitable, loving what is good, self-controlled, righteous, holy, disciplined, (Titus 1:7-8)

Let's dig in!

Last week, we discussed how Paul used the term "above reproach," and we see here that he uses another term: "as God's steward."

This word, steward, deserves a good look. It's a word that has been declining in usage, but its most common usage today describes the position of a person who works on a ship or an airplane! The responsibilities include taking care of the passengers. . . . . However, when we see in the Bible that we are instructed to be a good steward, it's not telling us to get a job as housekeeping staff on a sailing ship! 

The scholars say that the word steward translates from the Greek "oikonomon" and the word in English that most closely approximates it is the word "manager." In fact, there are some Bible translations which now use the term manager. The managers mentioned in scripture were often similar to managers in our world today; they would oversee accounts, households, and businesses.

A manager is someone who is given the responsibility to take care of something on behalf of someone else. A manager or steward has authority but works for the owner. But what makes someone a good steward according to the Bible? 

The Lord answered, “Who then is the faithful and wise manager, whom the master puts in charge of his servants to give them their food allowance at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whom the master finds doing so when he returns.  (Luke 12:42-43, NIV)

There is the key! A good steward is a servant who is mindful that our Savior may return at any time. It's the person who behaves like he is a servant and will be held accountable for his care of others. In the case of our prospective elder, it is of paramount importance for him to remember that the church is the household of God.

if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. (I Timothy 3:15)

So, elders must remember that they will give an account to Him of how they have been stewards of His church.

Paul now lists negative qualities that an elder must not have, and after that, he lists positive qualities he must have.

First, an elder must not be "self-willed." This word carries the meaning of pleasing oneself, and refers to a person who is obstinate about his opinion being the only correct one . . . . a person who asserts his own rights and does not care about the feelings and interests of others. 

Sometimes the self-willed person takes the contrary view from the group just because!! A self-willed man will find it difficult (or impossible) to admit he is wrong, and he's definitely not a team player, like he should be. 

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But a person who listens to advice is wise. (Proverbs 12:15, NASB)

Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. (Romans 12:16)

An elder must also avoid being quick-tempered. If a man is always one spark away from blowing up, or if he uses anger to get his own way, he is not a good choice for an elder.

You know this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for a man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20)

Instead, patience, kindness, and self-control are the fruit of the Spirit that should be seen in a spiritually mature man. It is he who is a good candidate for being an elder.