Are you addicted to the approval of others? Part II

We're studying Proverbs 29:25:

The fear of man lays a snare, But whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. Prov 29:25 

We looked in detail at the fear of man yesterday, so today we need to keep moving forward and work our way to "trusting in the Lord."

The fear of man, and trusting in the Lord are polar opposites. It's kind of like when we are using a vegetable peeler on carrots....if we keep on scraping down further and further, we will get to the core -- and that is, that the fear of man is a worship issue. We are placing our affection and our trust in man, when we are supposed to place it in our Father. When we live our lives in the light of what others may think of us, we are allowing that to control our lives -- instead of allowing God to control.

At that point what people think of us, their approval or disapproval, their pleasure or displeasure with us, assumes control of our lives and is a snare, or trap for us.  And if we are caught in that trap, we will not be able to be the wise Christians that we are called to be. If we are fearful of what others may think, will we confront sin in the life of a fellow believer? Nope. Will we question their interpretation of a Scripture, even when we have insight from the Spirit? No way. Will we shade the truth so as not to offend others? Yep. So this trap will cause us to sin, and sin, and sin.
 
The Hebrew word "trust" here means to hide for refuge or to be bold or confident, to have hope. To have such confidence in something that you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you can rely on it. Doesn't that sound like a great description of how our faith makes us rely on God?

The word "safe" here means to be inaccessibly high . . . like a very tall city wall, or a fortress upon a mountain top. If we trust in the Lord, that is the kind of safety and peace that we can experience.

The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You (Psalm 9:9-10). 

The righteous shall be glad in the LORD, and trust in Him. And all the upright in heart shall glory (Psalm 64:10) 

The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The LORD is for me among those who help me; Therefore I shall see my desire on those who hate me. It is better to trust in the LORD Than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the LORD Than to put confidence in princes. (Psalm 118:6-9)

If we are addicted to the approval of others; if the fear of man has taken control of our lives, then we need to ask our Father to help us.
Jesus died and rose again, to make us fully approved before God the Father. We don't need to continue thinking about others' opinion of us, or even thinking better about ourselves . . . we need to think more about Him, and how to bring Him glory for the great gift He gave us!

He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,  (Hebrews 1:3)
Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.(Philippians 2:9-10)

Praise the Lord!    

I'm indebted to the site www.yourchurch.com for some of the thoughts in this study. 

Prov 29:25 Are you addicted? To approval? Part I

Fear of man will prove to be a snare,
    but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

At first glance, we might look at this verse and think, "Not me; I don't live in fear of man."  But do we? Are we looking for approval from our sisters and brothers in Christ, or from the world at large?  Do we love that approval . . .are we addicted to it?  We could put this in other ways: pleasing people, wanting their stamp of approval on our actions, or our way of life. Going out of our way to make others happy with us. Are we approval junkies?

The phrase "fear of man" in this verse implies something bad - and it is. But like so many things in life, something negative can develop from something that is good. The fear of man, or the seeking to please others, is not always bad --- let's look at some verses:

1. Children are commanded in the Word to obey and please their parents: A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.  (Proverbs 10:1)

2. In marriage, we make a commitment to please one another:
“The married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided…the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband” (1 Cor 7:33-35).

3. Servants (employees, too) are to work in ways that please their masters (employers):
“Slaves are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative,  not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior” (Titus 2:9-10)

4. Although we have Christian liberty, we are to consider what is pleasing to others:
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.  Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God,  just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved” (1 Cor 10:31-32). 

So, pleasing people is not a problem in itself -- it's actually a good thing. Sin can distort the good gifts and desires that come from God -- the problem isn't people, or their approval; the problem is being addicted to that approval.
The "fear of man" and the desire to please people becomes sinful when it becomes an overwhelming desire . . . when it becomes too important . . . when we long for it too intently.
So, how can we tell if we have a sinful fear of man, an addiction?
Well, it can be seen in an insatiable desire for approval, or as a controlling fear of rejection. Let's look at this more closely . . .
Do we struggle with peer pressure?
Are we over-committed? Have trouble saying "no" because of what others might think?
Do we "need" respect from our spouse or our friends and acquaintances?
Do we second-guess our decisions because of what others might think?
Do we often lie? Experience jealousy?
All of these are evidences that we might have a problem with approval . . . tomorrow we will explore how to be free of the problem!

Proverbs 24: 11-12 Rescue Part 2

When we paused yesterday, we had started to consider the difference between the Peter we see in Luke's gospel, and the Peter that we see in Acts --- huge difference in the man!

What caused that difference?

Quick answer --- Acts chapter two: the filling of the Holy Spirit!  Peter changed from someone who was afraid, to someone who was "filled with the Spirit."

The word used is a different word from one used further down in the chapter,  in the phrase "filled" with wine. This "filled" has more to do with being "influenced, controlled."

Let me give an example: If I want to cut some of my quilting fabric, I must use my scissors or rotary cutter in a controlled way --- I can't just hold the cutting tool in my hand and whack away at the fabric and achieve great results. I must carefully control the tool, to achieve what I desire.

So, we can be carefully used by the Spirit, in this activity we call witnessing.  You see, when the person you are speaking to can sense that you know what you're talking about, it's much easier to get their attention. They will actually want to listen!

How can you be filled?

           1. Self examination -- this takes time; in daily prayer and Bible study
           2. Confession -- get cleansed. You and I need to ask God to bring our sin to
               mind; then name it.   1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and 
               just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
           3. Repentance -- more than just an "I'm sorry" but a turning away from
               the sin.
           4. Ask God to fill you -- Luke 11:13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give
              good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father 
              give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

When I'm helping my hubby with a project, and that project requires him to pick up some tiny new parts and place them carefully into an electronic assembly, I can't hand him the same gloves that he used to protect his hands while packing grease into a tractor wheel-bearing, can I? Well, you also can't expect our Father to slip His hand into a dirty glove (us, with un-confessed sin) and do His work.
But when we are cleansed and filled with the Holy Spirit, our fears will subside, and God can use us.

Thanks for sticking with me --- we'll continue on Monday, OK? Have a blessed weekend!

Proverbs 19:23

The fear of the Lord leads to life, So that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil. 

We have chatted many times throughout our study about the fear of the Lord; and how by putting our faith and trust in Him we find happiness and contentment. Today we are going to talk about human fear.

So what are you afraid of? Seriously, what scares you to death? I am one of these people that are not afraid of many things. I will hike alone in the woods at all hours of the day and night--but I fear being alone in the city.

I love storms. I don't fear thunder, lightning or even tornadoes even though I've lived in tornado alley all my life. I don't fear rain, but I do fear the ocean.

This verse goes a bit deeper than these silly little 'surface' fears I think. When I see the word 'evil' I immediately think of Satan and his schemes. There are deeper things that sometimes I do fear. Like the path this country is taking. I fear that someday my children will be persecuted for their beliefs. But then I shake myself a bit and remind myself that God is in control. It is my job to teach my children how to put on and use their armor. Then it is my job to place them in God's hands. I think a bit of healthy fear is good...it's good to fear the path our country is taking; because it reminds us to be anxiously watching for Him to return.

Anyway...there are so many things to fear. I remember when there were tough times in my life, at night I would imagine myself cuddled in my Abba Fathers arms. I don't know what it's like to be cuddled and loved by an earthly father, but that's ok because it probably pales in comparison to the warmth and security I feel when I place myself in my Father's care.

In close here is a fun matching game for you. Match the reference that talks about fear to the sentences below:

John 16:33, Proverbs 3: 5-6, Isaiah 41:13, Matthew 6:25-7:29, Psalm 23:1-6

1. God holds our hand and says, "Fear not".

2. Don't trust yourself. Lean on God and what he has shown you. If you do that you will remain on the straight path He has shown you.

3. This world is full of trials and tribulations, but God has overcome the world and we find peace in Him.

4. I will fear no evil...

5. Don't worry about what you will wear or what you will eat...