Praise day 14

The Bible tells us as Christians, that it is very important to choose our friends wisely in this life. The Bible tells us to walk with wise people, to refrain from being "yoked" with unbelievers, and to help other saints with accountability and prayer. God's highest aim is to sanctify and transform us, and our friends can be a vital part of that, either to make it happen, or to make it more difficult!  He wants us to grow spiritually, and to mature in our walk with Him.

If we have good, solid Christian friends to share this journey with, we can accelerate our growth and relationship with God. We can learn about God from our own adventures with Him, but then we can also learn from our friends' experiences with Him, too.

We can find some inspiring examples of friendship in the Bible. I encourage you to look up these passages and think about the relationships you see here:

Ruth and Naomi were friends, as well as relatives: Ruth chapter 1, especially 16-17

David and Jonathan: I Samuel 18:1-3

Elijah and Elisha: II Kings 2:2

Proverbs is a well-spring of advice concerning our choices of friends:

Proverbs 12:26 One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 14:6-7 A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding. Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.
Proverbs 22:24-25 Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
Proverbs 12:26 One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 14:6-7 A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding. Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.
Proverbs 22:24-25 Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.

Our friends can be such a blessing! Let's praise God for them today!

Proverbs 27:17 People who need people

As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.

One of my favorite places when I was a kid was at my grandparents' farm. They enjoyed doing things "the old way" and I loved to follow them around and soak it all in. My grandfather would often sit at his grinding wheel and sharpen a tool so that when he was ready to use it, it would be at its peak performance. Patiently turning the wheel at just the right speed, and holding the tool at just the right angle, he would produce a fine edge.

It would not be effective if he tried to use a dull hoe to rid his garden of weeds. It wouldn't work very well to try and chop wood with a dull axe. So, he sharpened his tools in order to get the work done, and to do it well.

In the same way, we can have a "sharpening" effect on our friends. As Christians, it is helpful for us to have friends who assist us in growing in faith and grace --- in becoming more like Him. We need to be at peak performance in order to be used by our Father in His work.

I found these verses that go along with our verse for the day:

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,  Hebrews 10:24

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up  I Thessalonians 5:11a

Remember how I said that my grandad sat patiently at the wheel? He was never in a hurry when he was sharpening an edge. So we must be patient with our friends as we try to encourage them and keep them on the right pathway:

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Romans 15:1

I like how the King James version translates 2 Corinthians 3:18:  “But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”  To me, glory to glory sounds like "step by step."  We are on a pathway, and there are others behind us, on the lower steps. It is up to us to take their hand and encourage them to keep climbing up the steps. Urge them to keep trying.

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10

After all, our Father is patient with us! 

But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
    slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15  

Proverbs 27:12 Can you hear me?

The prudent see danger and take refuge,
    but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.

Hmmmm-uh-hmmmmmm, I can't hear you! Have you ever covered your ears and said that in jest to someone? Have you seen a child do that in earnest? (Grin)  It really doesn't work, does it?

Nope. You will still hear what you are trying to shut out.

This verse tells us that it is prudent (wise) to see danger and avoid it --- or to hear of danger and take a different course of action. The simple person (this could be a young, or inexperienced, or naive person) will plow on ahead, disregarding the danger, and then have to pay the consequences. Sometimes they will close their ears, and shut out the warnings of other Christians.

I think one thing to note here, is that this is not the same type of person that Solomon has called "foolish." That carries the meaning of willful disregard, or of arrogant, or self-righteous attitudes. The simple person is simply one who doesn't know any better.  They are not hardening their heart; they just don't think that what you are saying is important!

We need to be wise enough to see temptation in our own lives, and to realize that it will be easy to slide down that slope into sin --- and we need to help others (as we've noted before) who may not yet see the danger. Those of us who are more mature in the faith need to take on the responsibility of being watchmen, as in Jeremiah 6:17a:

I appointed watchmen over you and said,
    ‘Listen to the sound of the trumpet!’  

Younger Christians may not realize the importance of their testimony, and we need to encourage them to:  "Abstain from all appearance of evil." (I Thessalonians 5:22)
Sometimes those who are immature in their faith will feel that they are invulnerable -- that they are the ones who can walk right into that trap of Satan's making, or that failing of the flesh, and they can walk right out again, unscathed, and with no scars or consequences. As watchmen (excuse me, watchwomen) we need to warn them . . . for it is the simple who will get ambushed, not the wise.

Proverbs 27:9-10 Friendship

⁹ Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,
    and the pleasantness of a friend
    springs from their heartfelt advice.

¹⁰ Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family,
    and do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you—
    better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away.

Today's verses made me think back to other studies about friends . . . what makes us say that someone is our "best friend"? Are our best friends the ones that hang out with us sometimes and enjoy a laugh or two? Are the best buddies the ones that always tell us positive things -- and avoid telling us the hard things, the real things that we need to hear?

Uh, in a word, no!

Like Solomon says above, the best friends are the ones that give us "heartfelt" advice . . . the ones that are so passionately concerned about our welfare that they will take their courage in their hands and tell us what we need to hear --- even when that hurts. A true friend is one that trusts us, and that we trust in return.

Verse 10 is an admonition to do two things: be there for our friends when they need us, and depend on those same friends when we need them. We must do the things that we have studied so far --- show wisdom, give wise counsel, tell the truth, be patient, be forgiving --- whew! That's quite a list!

Luckily we have the best example possible, in order to be this kind of friend: our Savior, Jesus Christ.

He answers when we call:

Psalm 145:18  The Lord is near to all who call on him,
    to all who call on him in truth.

He is patient with us:

Psalm 86:15 But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
    slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

He loves us so very much:

Romans 5:8  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

He wants only the best for us:

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

He is our best friend:

Proverbs 18:24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

It may seem to be a "tall order" but we can be the friends that our Christian brothers and sisters need. We can extend friendship to those who don't yet know Christ, as well, and in so doing, be an awesome witness to the faith that we hope they will accept.
Let's be friends, shall we?

Proverbs 27:5-6 Deadly quiet - and kisses

⁵ Better is open rebuke
    than hidden love.

⁶ Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
    but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Let's say that I was watching you, and you were walking down a sidewalk. You were headed straight toward a huge hole in the walkway: possibly three feet deep. You would certainly be harmed if you didn't look up from your Kindle and see the danger and stop!

Would I be a friend if I kept my mouth shut? Nope. Is it possible that you would be irked with me for disturbing your reading. Yep. Which way would be better --- to warn you, or not to warn you?

This is a pretty rudimentary example, is it not? It's extremely obvious what our answers should be. But in real situations, it is sometimes difficult for people to live out this concept. If I am headed into sin, or into a situation that could be disastrous for my faith and my testimony, I would much prefer to have a friend tell me to my face . . . that's much better than if the friend keeps quiet, out of some loyalty, or affection. The best way for that affection to be shown is for my friend to speak to me, and warn me.  That is a proof of their having my best interest at heart, isn't it?

If we are rebuked by a friend, we must first try not to be resentful -- to use that wisdom that Solomon has been teaching us, and graciously accept the fact that we were headed toward danger. If a friend needs to be rebuked, we must summon up all of the tactfulness that we can muster, and kindly (but firmly) let our friend know of their dangerous situation. We cannot withhold the truth from them. Even if it hurts for a time.

Our second verse speaks of false affection: how many of us have been hurt because by a false show of affection? We mentioned two instances of deadly kisses recently . . . Joab in II Samuel, and Judas, in the gospels. Being careful of our choices in friends to fellowship with, may help us avoid this kind of hurtful person.

Even if we bruise their toes, let's be true to our friends, and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Let's remember Romans 12:9, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."  That's putting love into action: better to bruise their toes, than to watch them fall into the hole . . . 

Prov 22: 24-25 Choosing Carefully

²⁴ Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,
    do not associate with one easily angered,
²⁵ or you may learn their ways
    and get yourself ensnared. 

What do you think of, when I say the word "friend"?

Does your mind go back to a childhood buddy that shared hours of mud-puddle fun with you? To a teen companion that weathered the turbulent years with you? To a person who is a vital part of your life today?
Friends add so much meaning to our lives. They can bring joy to us, share our problems, and add to our experiencing the world around us. What would we do if great things happened in our lives -- a child graduates, we get a new job, we are honored with an award -- and there was no one to share the news with?
In contrast, what can give you more relief in a time of grief or frustration than talking to a friend? Friends can be mirrors; they can be sounding boards, and they can even be guideposts.
Choosing a friend is not an easy task . . . it is vitally important to be careful when we choose the people who we will associate with. The Assyrians were a nation that Solomon was familiar with, and they repeated an old proverb that said, "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are." Later on in Proverbs (27:17) we'll see that just as "iron sharpens iron," so our friends shape who we are.
Sometimes I wonder as I read certain verses if Solomon was speaking from personal experience. Perhaps he knew someone who was "hot-tempered" and easily angered. Perhaps he had needed to take care, so that he, Solomon, was not greatly influenced by that person, and did not become trapped by that type of behavior.
What can happen to a person easily angered? How can they be "ensnared"? Well, one thing that can happen is that they lash out in their anger and say or do something to hurt other people --- even people that they love. In the moment that their anger is white-hot, they may not even realize what they say, or how they say it. When the tempest subsides, they will need to make amends - if they can.  Secondly, a hot-tempered person can damage their own health. Jumping to conclusions and getting angry raises the blood pressure and sets off chemical reactions within the body. It takes time to repair those damages, too.
It's a fine line that we walk, as Christians. We want to help others, and assist them in discovering Christ and living for Him. At the same time, we need to insure that our friends -- the people we spend the most time with, and the people that we bare our hearts to -- are friends that encourage us to reveal the best within us, not ones that influence us to "learn their ways" and become ensnared in sin.  Good advice from an ancient king.

What a Friend

This week one of our studies focused on the best friend that we have -- our Lord Jesus. In closing this week of study, I wanted to share one of my favorite old hymns with you.



I found this prayer in a church newsletter that I receive each week, and I found it inspiring. It is attributed to a Mary Stewart, of Ohio, over one hundred years ago.

Keep us, O God, from all pettiness. Let us be large in thought, in word, in deed. Let us be done with fault-finding and leave off all self-seeking. May we put away all pretense and meet each other face to face, without self pity and without prejudice. May we never be hasty in judgment, and always be generous. Let us always take time for all things, and make us to grow calm, serene and gentle. Teach us to put into action our better impulses, to be straightforward and unafraid. Grant that we may realize that it is the little things of life that create differences, that in the big things of life, we are as one. And, O Lord God, let us not forget to be kind! Amen.

I know that women of many denominations read and study with us, and for many of them, the season of Lent is beginning. Whether or not you follow any of the varied Lenten traditions is not important; we all can profit from a time of thoughtfulness, of quiet inspection, and of repentance.
Thanks for sharing part of your day with me, each day this week. Blessings and hugs to you!

Prov. 17 : 17 Best of Friends

Pro 17:17  A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

What do you value in a friend? What characteristics do you wish to see, in someone you would call your friend? If you have time, take a moment and jot a few down in your journal. We'll come back to that later . . .

I've not been blessed with all that many friends in my life. I count my hubby as my BFF, and my kids are close in line after him. I guess it is a combination of where I live (way out in the country) and my occupation (that keeps me super-busy) that has made it difficult to nurture friendships.  There are some folks that I've not even met in person, face-to-face, in the same room, and all that. But I feel close to them, and they have showed me that they are good friends, nonetheless.

I think that we would all agree that the biggest thing to judge a friend on, is whether or not that relationship is constant. True friendship is a strong bond. If someone is my friend because it is serving some interest of theirs, then that is a shallow and selfish bond. It will easily break when they see that I no longer serve that purpose to them. I like what Matthew Henry said in his commentary:

     . . . their affections turn with the wind and change with the weather. Swallow-friends, that fly to you in summer, but are gone in winter; such friends there is no loss of.

I love my friends no matter if they are rich or poor, popular or in disgrace, close or far. If they are sincere, good, and wise, then I love them, no matter what!
I really like what the second half of the verse says. The word translated "brother" also means "kindred" like in kindred spirits. That kind of friend will be there when you are in adversity. Someone that is so "tuned in" to you that they know what you are experiencing; sometimes you can finish each others sentences, and other times you don't need to speak at all. The best example of this kind of friend is our savior, Jesus. He is a friend that loves at all times. Here are His own words that can comfort our souls:

"This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you."

What an awesome, inspiring thing --- the Son of God is our friend!  Our Best Friend Forever! 

Climbing down from that mountaintop, let's see if we can tell where the rubber hits the road . . . if you wrote down some things in your journal, or if you just thought of some characteristics of good friends --- ask yourself if you model those in your dealings with others. You see, if we wish to have good friends, we must be good friends.  Oh, and are we good friends with our Lord? Is our friendship constant? Don't worry, I'm asking myself these questions, too . . . If we see some areas that we can improve, let's write those in our journals, too.

Proverbs 14 : 20 - 21 Good neighbors, good friends - am I one?

Pro 14:20  The poor is hated even of his own neighbor: but the rich hath many friends.
Pro 14:21  He that despiseth his neighbor sinneth: but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he.

What does it take to be a good neighbor? A good friend? What makes us think that someone is not a good friend?

Of course we think that someone who is kind, and considerate, would make a good neighbor or friend. Someone who will go that extra mile to help out.  But in our everyday life, do we look at other people in a judgemental way? Do we consider if they are poor? Do we wonder if they have as much education as we do, or maybe they have more? Do we think about the car they drive, or the house they live in, and make a judgement on that?  And do any of these things make any difference at all in the person?

I hear you -- you're right; the answer is "no." None of those things matter a whit or make any difference as far as the person is concerned. But Solomon is noting that it's human nature to gravitate toward the rich, toward the attractive, to the people who seem (in the world's eyes) more worthy of our time and attention. And hundreds of years before Christ's birth, he was saying something that Jesus would say, too. He explained, in the parable of the Good Samaritan, that in order to love God, we must love others as ourselves. And He also pointed out that our "neighbor" is the person we encounter that is in need.

Have you ever noticed that the people who are "on top of the world" have lots of people hanging around, that seem to be their friends? Have you seen those "friends" fade into the woodwork when times get tough? Maybe you have experienced this first hand. What does that say about those people?

Maybe we should list in our journal today, some characteristics of good friends. Think about what makes a "good" neighbor. I know I'll be praying that God will help me in some areas that I fail in, and I hope He'll give me an opportunity to try again, and show His love to others.

Proverbs 13:16 - 20 Elevator buttons

I'm guessing that when ya'll look at the title today, ya'll think I'm daft. Crazy. Gone bonkers. Well, you might be right, but let's see what these verses have to say to all of us today.

I chose this block of verses to talk about altogether, because in one way or another, they all relate to one thing: discernment. Webster says that discernment is synonymous with wisdom, insight, and perception. Alrighty, let's check out these verses . . .

It isn't always the case, but usually a person's conduct reflects their character. Solomon notes here that a wise person makes his or her moves cautiously, moving ahead carefully.  (Hmmm, sounds like using discernment, right?) The wise person realizes that his character is revealed by the words he speaks and the deeds he does. A foolish person shows his lack of discernment and knowledge to everyone around him, by his rash and foolish words and actions.

Next, in verse 17, we see two types of messengers: one, who either is lazy or is downright scheming, will fall into trouble. The other, who uses his discernment to be a faithful and loyal messenger, may be able to bring blessings of healing and peace to those that he serves. In verse 18, poverty and shame are revealed as the final destination of those who think they are too good, or too smart, to listen to instruction. Long-lasting honor will come to those who area able to discern their own need for instruction from those who have wisdom.  

Verse 19 reveals that accomplishing an objective or goal brings joy to a wise person. By contrast, accomplishing something as simple as turning away from evil is distasteful to the foolish. They would rather keep on spinning around in their sin, like a ship going down in a whirlpool, and nothing would seem better to them, than to take others down with them.  Only those who walk with wise men will be safe from these foolish people.

Yep, folks, this is where the rubber meets the road. One of the most important areas in which we need to use our discernment is in our choices of friends. There is an old saying that goes like this: "Your friends are like the buttons on an elevator: they can either take you up or take you down." (Now you know why I chose that title up there!) When we choose our companions, we will find that some of them love the Lord, and seek His wisdom, and some of them just "want to do their own thing."  When we want advice, we often seek out our friends --- so here's hoping that our friends are "UP" elevator buttons!