Are you addicted to the approval of others? Part II

We're studying Proverbs 29:25:

The fear of man lays a snare, But whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. Prov 29:25 

We looked in detail at the fear of man yesterday, so today we need to keep moving forward and work our way to "trusting in the Lord."

The fear of man, and trusting in the Lord are polar opposites. It's kind of like when we are using a vegetable peeler on carrots....if we keep on scraping down further and further, we will get to the core -- and that is, that the fear of man is a worship issue. We are placing our affection and our trust in man, when we are supposed to place it in our Father. When we live our lives in the light of what others may think of us, we are allowing that to control our lives -- instead of allowing God to control.

At that point what people think of us, their approval or disapproval, their pleasure or displeasure with us, assumes control of our lives and is a snare, or trap for us.  And if we are caught in that trap, we will not be able to be the wise Christians that we are called to be. If we are fearful of what others may think, will we confront sin in the life of a fellow believer? Nope. Will we question their interpretation of a Scripture, even when we have insight from the Spirit? No way. Will we shade the truth so as not to offend others? Yep. So this trap will cause us to sin, and sin, and sin.
 
The Hebrew word "trust" here means to hide for refuge or to be bold or confident, to have hope. To have such confidence in something that you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you can rely on it. Doesn't that sound like a great description of how our faith makes us rely on God?

The word "safe" here means to be inaccessibly high . . . like a very tall city wall, or a fortress upon a mountain top. If we trust in the Lord, that is the kind of safety and peace that we can experience.

The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You (Psalm 9:9-10). 

The righteous shall be glad in the LORD, and trust in Him. And all the upright in heart shall glory (Psalm 64:10) 

The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The LORD is for me among those who help me; Therefore I shall see my desire on those who hate me. It is better to trust in the LORD Than to put confidence in man. It is better to trust in the LORD Than to put confidence in princes. (Psalm 118:6-9)

If we are addicted to the approval of others; if the fear of man has taken control of our lives, then we need to ask our Father to help us.
Jesus died and rose again, to make us fully approved before God the Father. We don't need to continue thinking about others' opinion of us, or even thinking better about ourselves . . . we need to think more about Him, and how to bring Him glory for the great gift He gave us!

He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,  (Hebrews 1:3)
Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.(Philippians 2:9-10)

Praise the Lord!    

I'm indebted to the site www.yourchurch.com for some of the thoughts in this study. 

Prov 29:25 Are you addicted? To approval? Part I

Fear of man will prove to be a snare,
    but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.

At first glance, we might look at this verse and think, "Not me; I don't live in fear of man."  But do we? Are we looking for approval from our sisters and brothers in Christ, or from the world at large?  Do we love that approval . . .are we addicted to it?  We could put this in other ways: pleasing people, wanting their stamp of approval on our actions, or our way of life. Going out of our way to make others happy with us. Are we approval junkies?

The phrase "fear of man" in this verse implies something bad - and it is. But like so many things in life, something negative can develop from something that is good. The fear of man, or the seeking to please others, is not always bad --- let's look at some verses:

1. Children are commanded in the Word to obey and please their parents: A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.  (Proverbs 10:1)

2. In marriage, we make a commitment to please one another:
“The married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided…the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband” (1 Cor 7:33-35).

3. Servants (employees, too) are to work in ways that please their masters (employers):
“Slaves are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative,  not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior” (Titus 2:9-10)

4. Although we have Christian liberty, we are to consider what is pleasing to others:
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.  Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God,  just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved” (1 Cor 10:31-32). 

So, pleasing people is not a problem in itself -- it's actually a good thing. Sin can distort the good gifts and desires that come from God -- the problem isn't people, or their approval; the problem is being addicted to that approval.
The "fear of man" and the desire to please people becomes sinful when it becomes an overwhelming desire . . . when it becomes too important . . . when we long for it too intently.
So, how can we tell if we have a sinful fear of man, an addiction?
Well, it can be seen in an insatiable desire for approval, or as a controlling fear of rejection. Let's look at this more closely . . .
Do we struggle with peer pressure?
Are we over-committed? Have trouble saying "no" because of what others might think?
Do we "need" respect from our spouse or our friends and acquaintances?
Do we second-guess our decisions because of what others might think?
Do we often lie? Experience jealousy?
All of these are evidences that we might have a problem with approval . . . tomorrow we will explore how to be free of the problem!

Proverbs 28:25 Um, Emerson and Rand had it wrong.....

25 ¶ He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.

When I read Ralph Waldo Emerson in high school and college, the independent Me thought he was the bomb. I soaked up the "be self-reliant, be your own person and don't pay attention to what others think (or care about)" attitude, and thought it was great.
When I got to college and read Ayn Rand's writings, I thought those were super, too --- "going your own way" sounded perfect to me.  The old maxim of marching to a different drummer (Thoreau) was appealing.
As I grew older (and I hope, wiser) I began to re-read some of what had appealed to me before, and wondered how I had missed some things . . .
Like this quote from one of the characters in "Atlas Shrugged" who says, "Man --every man -- is an end in himself, he exists for his own sake, and the achievement of his own happiness is his highest moral purpose."  Huh?  How did I miss that -- was I speed-reading and missed it completely?

My take on this now, is that we Christians are supposed to (in fact, the Bible strongly tells us to) put our trust in God, not in man, and not in ourselves. I think you can probably point to many other verses that support this, but here are just a couple:

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this: 
 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,    your vindication like the noonday sun.  Psalm 37: 5-6

  It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.  Psalm 118:8

We are to depend on the Lord. His words are to be our final authority in all matters of faith, doctrine, and even everyday life. The Bible is our light when the path grows dark and confusing, and the words in it can shed light on our decisions. We also live in a community of believers who can offer us Biblical wisdom and offer accountability as well. Self reliance? Not.


The word "fat" in scriptures almost always notes bounty, success, and blessings. Check these out:

Genesis 45:18 And take your father and your households, and come unto me: and I will give you the good of the land of Egypt, and ye shall eat the fat of the land.

Psalm 92:14 They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;

Solomon is telling us that the proud heart, the person who is arrogant and self-centered, stirs up conflict. Why? Because she or she is always placing their needs above the needs of everyone else. They are often gloating and think they are above reproach -- their way or the highway -- and think that they are the only godly person in the room!  Because of that attitude, they cannot abide with contradiction or competition . . . they make their own life and the lives of those around them miserable.
In contrast, the person who trusts in the Lord shall have an abundant life, a life full of blessings. And the person who can see wisdom and beauty in others will, I believe, find that Emerson and Rand had it wrong, and that Peter had it right:

1Peter 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yes, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.

Proverbs 20 : 6 Worthy of Trust

Pro 20:6  Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?

You might be wondering at the picture that I chose for this study . . . in the original language, the word that is translated "proclaim" means just that --- synonyms that were listed were "call out, cry out, preach, and publish."

It's human nature to want to toot our own horns, isn't it? I think we can see that in children, as they joyfully shout about their accomplishment, and wait expectantly for mom and dad to exult with them. Of course, we see it in adults sometimes, too, and it's not quite as cute, is it?  Being proud of reaching a goal is fine, but we often have a tendency to want to brag a little, don't we? Should we be careful of the bragging, and give God the glory for those accomplishments? After all, He gave us the gifts we used, and the strength we needed!

I thought the second half of the verse was very thought-provoking. The word "faithful" in there, is a word that is also translated "trustworthy."  Whether man or woman, a trustworthy individual is a great treasure to find, as a friend, or as a mate. I thank God for the trustworthy man that He brought into my life --- and I pray that I will also be trustworthy for him, and for my Savior.