Snow treasures - communication in politically correct times

Verse fifteen in our passage is our focal point for today:

Through patience a ruler can be persuaded,    and a gentle tongue can break a bone. (Proverbs 25:15)

Like so many of the proverbs do, this verse points out the benefits of moderation. Specifically, it reveals just how powerful patient persuasion can be.
We can imagine the situation here; a counselor is trying to change a ruler's mind. Perhaps the leader is considering a rash course of action. Perhaps he is plotting revenge, or a flash raid against an enemy. For whatever reason, the advisor needs to win over the ruler; he or she needs to persuade him that another course of action is better.
It's a difficult assignment when one is trying to win over someone who is in authority! The conversation is quite different when someone is a peer, an equal.  That leader likes almost anything better than being put on the spot. Or being shown up for having poor judgement!
Being pushy? Really not good for this.
Persuasion takes patience.
One of the root meanings of the word used here also carries the meaning of "prevail upon." It also refers to "courting," when the intention is to win over a person, or change their way of thinking.
In fact, it's used in several other places:

“Therefore I am now going to allure her;    I will lead her into the wilderness
    and speak tenderly to her." (Hosea 2:14)

“If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. (Exodus 22:16)

But still, the image of a tongue breaking a hard bone seems very unusual, no? We are left wondering, how can that be? The commentaries note that the writer's idea is this: softly spoken words can accomplish difficult things. If an advisor wishes to change the mind of a stubborn official, a gentle word can accomplish more than yelling and bluster. Or if a spouse wishes to influence a decision of her mate, a gentle tongue and a calm demeanor can accomplish much more than anger.

And if we hope to speak effectively to an unbeliever in this age of political correctness, we do well to remember this verse . . . patience and a soft word can be unusually influential. We can go far further in this way than we can with loss of temper, harsh words, or lack of manners and politeness. The strongest defenses can be overcome. The most passionate arguments can be resolved.
I don't mean that we can always win right away -- sometimes the arguer needs time to go off and think. Upon consideration, they may come back to us and talk more. At the very least, we have impressed them with our calmness in the face of their passion and intolerance. A godly, wise speaker will use persistence and gentleness to win victories.
It seems counter-intuitive, but it's true: if we speak in a soft voice, then people have to listen. We've all been in the situation of a person yelling their disagreement with us, right? Don't we pretty much tune them out? We shelter ourselves from their venom, and don't truly pay attention.
But when we hear someone talking softly, we pause. We get quiet ourselves. It's necessary in order to hear what is being said. This concept reminds me of our study of Abigail some months ago. David and his soldiers had been insulted by her husband, and Abigail took the initiative in the moment of crisis. She met David, coming to her home with vengeance on his agenda -- she gently and humbly appealed to David's sense of mercy. Her grace and courage changed his mind and the course of their lives.
The Lord doesn't expect us to be doormats in the face of those who claim they've been offended. But He doesn't want us to confront others with anger, nor with insults of our own for our accusers. His Spirit can help us be gentle and courageous.
We can make our point.
We don't need to make enemies.