Growing in discernment, continued

Hold it before you spill it!
Sometimes when we discern something, we feel a sense of urgency. We really NEED to tell the person!
Often there is actually no rush.....
And we should sometimes sit on something, instead of rushing to share.
Why?

Let's dig in....
When we are feeling our way with discernment, we may often wish to hurry up and tell someone that nugget of wisdom that we've gleaned from the Holy Spirit. We may have heard from Him in our study time and that has given us a new perspective on an issue that is troubling a fellow believer (or an issue that we feel SHOULD be troubling to that fellow believer!).
Whoa, pardner!
Often, a sign of maturity is to sit on these things before just blurting them out. It's sometimes a question of timing, sometimes a question of word choices.

More study can many times give us greater perspective and more clarity. A secular seminar I attended told listeners to think before speaking: T - Is it true? H - Is it helpful? I - Is it inspiring? N - Is it necessary? K - Is it kind?
For a business seminar, it was surprisingly right on the money:

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, (James 1:19a)

How to get this perspective? Study.....look at Ezra's example. He was successful because of an attitude he had:

This was because Ezra had determined to study and obey the laws of the Lord and to become a Bible teacher, teaching those laws to the people of Israel. (Ezra 7:10, TLB)

When we are determined to study His Word (one translation put it this way: Ezra "set his heart" on study) the Holy Spirit can correct our perspective; He can bring it in line with God's heart. Or He can open our eyes to a greater perspective that we didn't at first see. It's good to "sit on" our thoughts sometimes, since they could unnecessarily damage someone, or exacerbate an already inflamed situation.
We can also come up with kinder words sometimes - instead of blurting out our discernment, if we take time to phrase things compassionately (remember our studies on how to speak with love?) we will have better outcomes than if we "wing it." (Grin)

From a wise mind comes careful and persuasive speech.24 Kind words are like honey—enjoyable and healthful. (Proverbs 16:23-24)

How to come up with these words? Pray for the person you will be speaking to. Pray that they will be blessed and that God would work in their heart - after all, it is He Who will change the person, not us!

Lastly, we may find a person more receptive when we cultivate a relationship and wait for the "right opening," instead of blurting out our discerning comments. Be accessible; sit and listen; have a cup of coffee and really get to know the person. Be patient! Learn to wait on the Lord - He will bring the conversation around to where you can help your hearer.

I don't want anyone to take away the wrong impression from this: I don't mean that we sit back and are passive. We don't ignore the message of discernment that God gives us for someone else. But we will find things go better if we get the right perspective through studying the Bible, pray and use kinder words, and cultivate a relationship with those we hope to help.

One other thing that ties in with our post today -- often it's a good idea to connect to someone who we believe (by observation of their spiritual fruits) is mature, and can help to check what we are sensing. We can feel very lonely and misunderstood if, in spite of our best efforts, our words of discernment and exhortation are rejected, or perhaps ignored. If we have someone who is willing to partner with us, and pray for us, we will have accountability and we'll have godly instruction. Choose carefully someone whom you can trust, and confide in them and ask them to pray. Godly friends can heal our hearts and strengthen us for our tasks.

We'll conclude our study tomorrow....