Anger management 101, conclusion

"When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear."   Mark Twain

Nope.

"When angry, count to ten. If very angry, count to one hundred." Thomas Jefferson

Yep, that's it.

Yesterday, we saw that one way to handle anger and defuse a situation was to get rid of it quickly; to reconcile with the person that made us mad. 

Another way is to BE the solution to the problem that made us angry in the first place. 

What's that mean?

Sometimes when we see a problem or an injustice, we do get angry about it. Perhaps the next time that happens, rather than stewing about it, as my grandma used to say, we should DO something about the problem. 

There is much to be angry at in this world. One of the biggest problems, though, is that right now people get angry at what they are seeing, and then they lash out in anger at others -- all that does is create more anger! Sometimes anger is a waste of energy that ought to be used; if something upsets us or we feel change is needed, what are we DOING about it? How much time have we actually spent in combating this?

If we feel we are doing something about it, take a moment to step back and assess our own efforts objectively -- many people today feel quite proud and accomplished -- many feel they have truly done something about an issue, when all they have done is walk in a march or chant slogans. These same people may or may not be willing to take the time to actually work at a solution. To work collaboratively with others to solve a problem with calmness, reasoned words, and brainstorming to find ways to improve things. Then be part of implementing the solution. It's a lot of work, and that is one reason why some are not interested.

There is a quote from C. S. Lewis that is very apt in our world of marches, protests, and violence today. "Anger is the anesthetic of the mind." Sometimes we are angry and unable to think; rather than trying to form a solution to what made us angry, the only thing our minds can focus on is the anger.

Sound familiar as we watch the news?

This is not the best way.

Anger can be a catalyst for good, but it's not an end in itself. It can only be good if we get rid of it quickly and then channel that energy into fixing the problem that made us angry. 

Are we angry at someONE? Let's sit down and pray with them, and then talk things through. If our problems are deep, we may need to brainstorm ways to work through them; some people find counseling valuable and others find benefit in Bible study together. Still others find that their problems are more easily "fixed" when the two people work together in a volunteer group to help others. Find a way!

Are we angry at someTHING? Again, our first step is prayer, and then explore ways to be a part of the solution. Channel the energy of the anger you have put aside, and get involved; get creative; get to work! Whether supporting change with our finances or our physical presence, we can be a part of making a problem smaller or making it go away. (Personal note of advice: always check out any group that you will be assisting -- utilize their web site or their social media pages. Be careful before you give or speak out for an organization, to make certain of their aims. One group that has been in the news a great deal lately is purported to simply be working for racial equality. That's an admirable goal, and respect for all should be foundational in believers' lives. A search of the group's manifesto, however, reveals that they also desire to disrupt the nuclear family, as well as abolish democracy and law enforcement. Be careful.)

So, we can see that Paul is telling us to deal with our anger quickly, and then let our energy spur us into action. Finally, in verse 27, Paul says "don't give place to the devil."  If we allow anger to go unchecked, it becomes a sinful condition and an open door for the devil. 

When anger isn't dealt with and put aside, it festers and builds up. It gets bigger and keeps growing until it breaks loose and spills over onto someone else. Satan loves to take a good thing and twist it.  He will take something that might not initially be sinful and tie a knot in it and make it sinful. For example, he takes the love in a human heart and turns it into lust. He takes a healthy work ethic and turns it into greed and neglect of family. He takes personal happiness and twists it into selfishness and conceit. If we don't deal with our anger, it gives the devil a "foothold" in our lives. 

What does that mean?

Paul is referring, as he did so often, to a physical activity or a fighting analogy to make his point. The word "foothold" may make more sense to us in our world today when we think of the folks who enjoy climbing. Some are avid nature enthusiasts and seek steep rock faces and mountainsides where they can challenge themselves to reach the top. Others enjoy the indoor variety of climbing, where rock walls are set up to challenge their skills. In each of these, it's important not just to place their hands carefully, so that they can continue upward without falling, but it's also important to make careful placement of their feet -- sometimes they appear to have only their toes securely lodged in a tiny hole or crevice. But that tiny foothold is all they need to keep moving upward to the summit.

In the same way, sometimes a tiny foothold is all the devil needs to get a start on our lives. It helps him to keep going. To get a handle on us, grab hold, and not let go. We can't afford to give him a foothold to work with!  And that is what refusing to control our anger does . . . 

Letting our anger build and grow causes way more damage in the long run. That's why it's so important to quickly get rid of our anger and be part of a solution for what made us angry.

Some practical applications for us today? 

First, admit that we have a problem dealing with anger on our own, and ask God for help. Confessing this to God and praying for His strength is the best start.

Secondly, when anger begins to develop, if it is at all possible, simply walk away. When we are confronted with a person or a situation in which we know we will become angry, literally put one foot in front of the other and leave. If we do this, we may be embarrassed; we may be criticized; but we will not have given the devil a foothold.

Thirdly, we need to realize that sometimes anger gets the upper hand. We are not perfect yet, and so sometimes we lose control and lash out in anger before we even realize what we are doing. If we lash out in anger, the thing to do is to go to the person and ask for their forgiveness, then do the same thing with God. 

Finally, the best way to get rid of anger is simply to convert it to love. And yes, I know just how difficult that will be in some situations! From personal experience! But look at Paul's description of the Spirit-filled life:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Did you see anger in there anywhere? I didn't, either!

In fact, the traits listed were the opposite of anger. There simply is no justification in our lives as followers of Jesus to tolerate anger's continued presence. Righteous anger at what God is angry at? Yep. But we must put it aside quickly and not allow the devil to use it to gain a foothold in our lives. ANd then pray that God will fill us afresh with His Spirit, pushing out the sinful thoughts and filling us with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

It's Anger Management 101. 

And it's God's way to handle anger.

Lord, please show me when I am walking dangerously close to sin and allowing the devil to use my anger to gain a foothold. Fill me with your love, instead!