I Peter 3:1-6, conclusion

DISPATCHER: CALLING ALL BELIEVERS!! CALLING ALL THOSE WHO WISH TO INFLUENCE OTHERS AND HELP BRING THEM TO CHRIST!

Today we are finishing up our study, and we have a few more ways that we can behave "attractively" so that unbelievers are drawn closer to our Lord and Savior. These are things that Peter wrote to wives of non-Christian husbands, but we've seen all week that they can apply to everyone who wants to be an effective witness for the Lord.

One such positive behavior involves a gentle and quiet spirit. What do we mean? What did Peter mean? He says that such a spirit is precious in the sight of God. Well, the word "gentle" is sometimes translated "meek." It doesn't mean weakness or our being spineless -- it refers to strength under control. The modern day thesaurus included "serene" as one of the synonyms, and I believe that is a very good one. If we have a spirited and strong horse that is responsive to the signals from its rider, we say he is "gentle." So it refers to a Christian woman who is not selfishly asserting herself, but who yields her rights without yielding her strength of character.
By the same token, "quiet" doesn't mean non-communicative, but rather tranquil and calm. Not defiant. Not combative. A quiet Christian woman is known for her confidence in her role and in her own gifts.  She's not anxious to prove anything because she is quite secure in who she is in the Lord. She can be "quiet" and still be articulate and persuasive. But she doesn't demand her own way. This woman is a stark contrast to what our culture perceives as a "strong woman," eh?

Doing what is right is another behavior that is attractive to unbelievers (verse 6). This occurs in the context of others doing wrong toward us. Our behavior shouldn't be determined by how others treat us, although all of us have probably fallen into that trap before. We are so prone to react to wrong treatment with more wrong behavior, and then blame our own sin on the other person! But God wants us to be prepared to respond to wrongs by doing what is right.
Let's say our husband is yelling at us. (They don't actually do that, do they? ) Or let's say our boss is angry about some perceived problem and the decibels are rising quickly. If we yell back, or if we become defiant to our boss, we are adding fuel to the flames. But if we calmly respond, "I can understand that you are upset. What can I do to help solve this problem?" then we have reduced the fire to a weak smolder. We have de-escalated it, and we may be able to help resolve the issue at hand, without losing our witness for Christ.

Peter also mentions that we should emphasize the inner person over outward appearance. Now, this doesn't mean that we should neglect our appearance, but that we should value the inner person more than fancy, outward adornments. The attractive character qualities that we have been studying are things that get even better with age. Inner beauty is attractive even to an unbeliever, and it enhances our outward appearance, too.
As we draw our study to a close, we can see that Peter is saying a Christian woman should live so that an unbelieving husband, or friend, or associate is attracted to Christ by her beautiful behavior.

Now, a couple of questions that we should cover, before we move on to next week's study.... these are practical questions, and need our thoughtful consideration and prayer. I expect that these may spark some discussion....

First, we touched on the fact that a difficult husband may abuse his wife. Peter mentioned "Even if any of them are disobedient to the word," and I believe he wasn't just thinking about nice peeps there. I would step out on a limb and say that there may be some verbal abuse that a wife must endure (though some of you may take issue with me here) from a husband, when she has accepted Christ and he has not. But if the unbelieving husband begins to harm her physically, then I believe she should call civil or church authorities. This is proper. They may even need to separate in some cases to protect the wife while the husband gets his temper under control. But the end goal should be for the husband to be saved, and for the marriage to then be preserved. That Christian woman must still display that gentle spirit we have discussed.   Peter's words, "without being frightened by any fear" seems to mean that a woman should not fear intimidation more than she fears God. If her husband (or anyone else) tries to frighten her into giving up her faith, she must stand strong in the Lord.

Secondly, should a wife submit to a husband who asks her to do something wrong? I know that some people believe that because Sarah went along with Abraham's sinful schemes to pass her off as his sister (he did it twice!), that wives should obey their husbands even if they are told to do something sinful. No!! That would be a violation of what we have studied before: we must obey God rather than men....

Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings!"  (Acts 5:29, NIV)

I believe that Peter's words in verse 6 show that he is not condoning sinful behavior in the name of submission..... but again, if we must disobey in order to obey God, we can do it in a gentle and quiet spirit. We can calmly explain that we respect (and love, if it's a husband) and want to please the person in authority, but it's far more important to obey God.

Lastly, should we confront another person's sin?  In other words, is there a proper place for "tough love" regarding an authority figure? Wellllllllllll, yes, but we must be extremely careful. (Grin) Love seeks the highest good for the one who is loved, and sometimes that means confronting sin. But that doesn't mean jumping on every sin as if we are the Holy Spirit!  As my grandma used to say, you can attract more flies with honey -- not with vinegar! If we must confront, we should do it in as appealing a way as possible...... we want to make it obvious that we really care for that person. We can say that we value the relationship but that the sin is harming that relationship, or it's harming us. If we present it in a loving manner, we will get farther.
Of course, not every discussion will have a happy ending. It may be that we simply need to make it a matter of fervent prayer, and allow our Father to work in the person's heart. Tough as that may be for us, I believe it is the way the Bible tells us to handle things.

Our overall goal as believers, as Christian women, should be to behave in such ways that we help to attract others to our Savior. Perhaps these verses should make us hold up a mirror to our lives and ask, "Is my behavior attractive? Appealing? Does it make others want to follow my Lord Jesus Christ?"

(Don't worry.....we'll be discussing the husbands' roles and responsibilities next time!)

I Peter 3:1-6, continued

This week we are looking at relationships -- husbands and wives, employers and workers, friends that we want to witness to, and more. We are finding that this passage written to wives of unbelievers has nuggets for all of these situations!

I think that as we have studied here in Peter's letter, we've seen that authority and submission are important concepts.....the purpose of authority is to protect and bless those under authority. Not to benefit the one in authority! Because of sin, some in authority will abuse it -- God will hold them accountable. We must remember that if we must resist authority to obey God, then that is in line with the Word.
Another thing: God never tells husbands to get their wives to submit. All of these commands so far have been directed at the person who needs to submit in a relationship. A husband who is focused on his authority is actually out of line with God's Word. We will talk about this more in later studies, but a husband who suppresses or puts down his wife is not exercising godly authority.

We've found that the biblical spirit of submission is the attitude and action of willingly yielding to another, in order to please the Lord. Whether it is in our attitude toward our husband, or our relationship with a boss or a friend, attitude is crucial. Submission involves respect and a recognition of the responsibility of the one in authority. Rather than trying to scheme our way out of a situation with a boss, or manipulating our husband, we should seek to discover what they desire and do it -- as long as it doesn't involve disobedience to God!

I know that a lot of ladies really have a problem with "as Sarah called Abraham lord," but calm down here, OK? (Grin) Proper behavior and an appealing witness for Jesus does NOT require that we call anyone "Lord"! But here is the principle: the tone of our voice and the words we speak reflect whether we respect our husband, or whether we are in a power struggle with him! So many marriages are a constant tug of war.... that's not the biblical pattern. We are to do all we can to make him prosper. He is to do all he can to bless and protect us so that we prosper in the Lord. We can't wait, however, for him to come up to what we feel is an acceptable level of performance....we must do what God wishes for us to do, and He will take care of our husband.

Another attractive behavior that will influence our husband or anyone else, for that matter, is purity. That's an old-fashioned concept, for sure! Are we trying to influence a friend or co-worker for Christ? The word used here is referring to "abstaining from sin." This means that we will live in obedience to God; we'll be morally pure. People will be able to trust us, not just that we will remain pure in our sexual relationships, but in other situations, as well. We won't use deception or dishonesty to achieve what we want. We will learn to handle our anger and our frustrations in a biblical way. And our hope will be in God, so that we will have a sweet spirit toward those who behave in a difficult manner toward us. That kind of behavior is attractive to unbelievers -- they will ask what is the "hope within us" when they see our moral purity.

Another attractive behavior is reverence. In a previous verse, Peter uses "fear" or "reverence" to refer to our honoring God. I believe that is what he means here.... the idea is that a believer will live in the fear of God, aware of the fact that He sees all that goes on. To live in reverence to God means that we will think about that and live obediently to Him.

Watch out now, fair warning here. I will have to admit that I needed some bandaids for my toes on this next one...... Peter says that the difficult husband or the unbelieving friend may be won without a word as they observe the pure behavior of the Christian woman here. Oy. He doesn't mean that we go through our day not speaking. We're not mute. He means that we won't nag or preach to the unbeliever we are trying to reach.
Yup.
Told you that might moosh your toes.
Nothing will drive an unbeliever further from the Lord than a nagging wife or friend. Remember what Solomon told us?

Better to live on a corner of the roof    than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. (Proverbs 21:9, NIV)

A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip. (Proverbs 19:13b, GNT)

I have been brought up short several times in my life with the realization that when I thought I was "just reminding" someone, I was actually nagging them. Whew! Not a pretty picture. Nagging does one of two things to the other person..... either they will resist and become obstinate, or they will just clam up to keep the peace. Instead of a close relationship, we will have a distant one.

We'll talk tomorrow about a couple more concepts involving our behavior, and how it can make the gospel of Christ attractive to unbelievers....

I Peter 3:1-6 - Applying it to all believers

I hope everyone is still with me.....hope you are listening!  This passage is directed first at the married ladies, but there is so much here that applies to -- Every. Single. Believer.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (I Peter 3:1-6)

You see, Peter is making a point to everyone here. And it's very similar to what he has said before..... he's saying that godly conduct is a powerful witness. Waaaaaaaaay more powerful than words that are not accompanied by godly conduct! He is not saying that a verbal witness is insignificant. Nope. In the proper context, words are essential to communicate the gospel. Peter's point is that unbelieving husbands (or wives, or friends, or school chums, or associates at work) are far more likely to be won by conduct than by preaching. They will notice attractive behavior and they'll be drawn to the source of that behavior....a relationship with Jesus Christ.

"In the same way" points back to the previous chapter's ending words. It doesn't mean that wives are to submit exactly as slaves do to their masters, but instead is connecting this new chapter to his whole sermon (if you will) on how believers submit to authority. Now, I know that some will be thumbing through their Bibles and landing in Ephesians....they'll point to Ephesians 5:21 and tell me that both husbands and wives are to submit to one another. They want to make I Peter irrelevant, since it applies to the culture of the first century.....
I know, right?
Both those letters were written in that time period! So we need to dig deeper! I don't believe we can toss out the submission of wives to husbands in such a casual, even cavalier way. In Ephesians, Paul recognizes a sense in Christian marriage in which each partner submits in love to the other under the lordship of Christ. BUT -- he also goes on to state the husband is the head of his wife, just as Christ is the head of the church.
So, before we are tempted to throw this verse away, let's study what Peter means when he is telling wives to "be subject." And we are going to find (sorry if I keep pounding on this concept) that this applies to all believers, not just to us married ladies!
In our world, there is a whole luggage cart of baggage that comes with the term "submission." If we cringe when we hear the word, it may be because of our culture (think of Debra or Marie in "Everybody Loves Raymond" or other wives in other shows). Or it may be because you have known folks who abused the passage to make it say something it was never intended to mean. Don't forget the result Peter was looking for: "that they may be won over" applies to bosses, spouses, friends, and more.
So please listen as we look at some things that the word "submission" does NOT mean!

Number one -- Submission does not mean that we put our husband, our friend (or anyone we are trying to win to Christ) before our Lord. The whole letter that Peter wrote assumes that our allegiance to Christ takes top priority. That devotion is first, over any human allegiance. We are followers of Jesus Christ before anything else.

Number two -- Submission doesn't mean agreeing with absolutely everything that our husband (or that friend, or our boss) says or does. Peter is speaking very directly here, and he is assuming that by the time they have read (or listened) this far in the letter, they've been reminded and encouraged of their commitment to Christ and to His Word. They've thought about their experience with the gospel and remembered their choice to accept that salvation -- regardless of what anyone else thinks about it.

Number three -- submission doesn't mean that we are less intelligent than the person we are trying to influence for Christ. In fact, the believer who is trying to witness to an unbelieving spouse or friend has greater spiritual insight than the unbeliever does. And Peter encourages the Christian women he's addressing, to work at influencing their husbands!

Number four -- Submission does NOT mean being fearful or timid. Nope. No way. Peter even exhorts the women to be courageous, to not give in to fear. Peter makes the point that the Christian woman is a free woman; when we submit to our husband we do it in freedom, not in fear. If you respect the authority of an unbelieving employer, you do it in freedom, not in timidity. And please hear me on this: a woman should never submit herself to any kind of abuse. If we are in an abusive relationship, it's imperative that we get help. Don't think for even a millisecond that we need to tolerate abuse, to be submissive. That's a lie from Satan. Please get help.

Number five (and this is a SUPER big one) -- Submission doesn't mean inequality. Please re-read that sentence if you want. This command for a wife to be submissive to her husband does not imply that the woman is inferior. We are all equally created in God's image. Think about it: is there inequality in the Trinity? Is Jesus any less divine than the Father? Less powerful? Inferior in any way? Of course not! Jesus is equal to God the Father. Yet Jesus submits to God the Father......He is sent by the Father. All this means is that Jesus has a different role, a different function. So, a wife's submission does not mean she is inferior or unequal -- it simply means that she has a different role within the family, for the benefit of the family.

I found this definition in one of the commentaries, and I liked it: submission is the disposition to follow a husband's authority and an inclination to yield to his leadership in Christ. See how that is different from the five "nots" up above? (Grin)

Even the fact that Peter would write a section of a letter addressed to women was pretty revolutionary.... the society of the time kept women down. They couldn't have a say in much of anything. They had no choice but to submit. So why is Peter telling them to submit?  In the original language, the term literally meant to "place yourself in submission." Peter is saying, you've been doing this because you had no choice. Now you are given a voluntary choice..... this is going to be an act of will, instead of a legalistic requirement. He is making decision-makers out of peeps who had been forbidden to make decisions before.

Here is the heart of it....Peter is looking for all of us to have a heart attitude, a spirit of humility by choice, not because of being coerced, or because we have no choice. When we respect an employer, it is by our choice. When we respectfully try to influence a friend, it's our choice to behave in a way that is a witness. For the wife, submission is an attitude of "I delight for you, my husband, to take the responsibility in our family. I'm glad when you lead with love. Please don't be passive, or let things slide. I will honor Christ by yielding to your leadership. As long as you don't lead this family into sin, I will follow you."
Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that a relief? Submission is not what some people think it is today. And it is even applicable, Peter says, to those who are married to unbelievers.

I hope you will join us tomorrow as we continue.....

Prayer requests

I'd like to ask for prayer today for one of our readers.... I don't think that she would mind if I ask y'all to join me in prayer.

Marla has studied with us for some time, and her hubby has been ill for some time, as well. His lungs are becoming worse, and it appears that in the next year or so, a transplant will be the necessary next step. Of course, it's difficult to think of that, or to pray about it -- after all, someone else has to die, for new lungs to be available to Marla's husband. Their faith is getting them through, and they take one day at a time.

Please join me in lifting up Marla and her husband in prayer. Our Father knows all about the situation, but let's bear one another's burdens. Let's pray for encouragement, comfort, and for wise and compassionate doctors.

There may be other situations that you know of that need the touch of the Lord, and that need our prayers. Please let us know so that we may pray alongside you, though many miles separate us.

If you've a praise for answered prayer that you can share with us, wonderful! Please let us know.

Blessings to all.....

I Peter 3: 1-6 . . . . this applies to all believers!

I almost feel as if I should place a disclaimer here at the top of our first post this week..... these are some verses that have caused no end of discussions (arguments) and irritation for many years. More so in recent years, as our culture has changed even more. But listen up, folks!!

THE QUALITIES THAT PETER ENCOURAGES THESE WOMEN TO ADOPT APPLY EQUALLY TO ALL BELIEVERS, TOO!! MEN AND WOMEN ALIKE!
Alright, I apologize for shouting at you; Peter is talking about developing the right attitudes, being chaste in our sexual relationships, being reverent, quiet, and valuing the inner person more than the outward appearance. That applies to all believers, no matter if one is male or female!
Nuff said?
OK, let's dive in!

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (I Peter 3:1-6)

Whoooooweee!
That's a lot to digest!
These verses are tough to explain, and even tougher to apply in the midst of our culture, today. Wow. It's tough enough to talk about the submission of wives to godly husbands. Or the submission of employees to employers. Or how to respect civil authority.

But Peter seems to be saying here that wives should submit to husbands that are ungodly.  Isn't Peter being cruel? Insensitive?  I mean, come on, isn't he giving free rein to spouses who would abuse each other? (And sometimes it is the wives who abuse their husbands, don't forget.) I've known of supposedly Christian homes where the husband pretty much stomps on his marriage partner's individuality. I've known homes where alcoholism is an issue, and the wife enables the addict's wrong behavior. Doesn't the submissive attitude of the wife exacerbate these problems?

Peter, you don't know the world we live in, today! We live in a society that values individual rights, especially those who feel they are pushed down by the system. We are continually being encouraged to stand up and to fight back. It's gotten so that self-fulfillment and "finding yourself" has become the mantra in America, and those who perceive they are in a difficult marriage are told to do what they must, in order to seek happiness. And submission is not usually one of the action items....

In order to understand what this passage means, and to avoid arguments during our study, I think we need to realize that Peter's theme started back in chapter two. He is still talking about being a Christian witness in a pagan, alien world. In his time, a woman was supposed to accept her husband's religion. (Remember when we studied Naomi? We said that she was a bit unusual for her time, for in spite of marrying outside her faith, she kept her faith and her religion.) 
In Peter's day, if a wife became a Christian, she was regarded by most to be insubordinate! So her acceptance of the gift of salvation was a pretty explosive situation. Peter didn't want to add to the fireworks by having the wife be defiant. He gives instructions on how the new believers could live with their unbelieving mates, in a way that would bear witness for Jesus Christ.

Now, let me say again, in my studies I've been impressed with the fact that the qualities Peter is encouraging these ladies to emulate should apply to all Christians -- male and female! We all need to adopt a submissive spirit, be chaste, reverent, and gentle, and also to look more at the inner person than the outward one.
So, be patient with me as we work our way through these verses..... whether married or unmarried, man or woman, I believe all Christians can get something from these verses!

(I've also known peeps who use these verses to justify marriage to an unbeliever....that's not what Peter is teaching here. He was writing to spouses who had become Christians after marriage. That's different.)

Whether male or female, a Christian spouse should live with an unbelieving partner so that he or she will be attracted to Christ by the believer's behavior.

Kinda explosive?
Have I got your attention? (Grin)
See ya next time!!

Friday slowdown

He loves us as we are.....but He wants so much more for us. Accept His gifts today, and rejoice in a new life with Him!

The cross - kept in focus

Hope you are still hanging in here and reading, and studying along with me....I've found so much here that is helpful, and I hope the Spirit can use some of what we study here to help you, too.

We've been talking about keeping Christ's cross in focus in our lives, and how that can deliver us both from the penalty and the power of sin. We discussed how before we were saved, we continually strayed because of sin, and how we now have a new life that can be free from the power of sin.

 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 25 For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. (I Peter 2:24-25)

Let's dive in again!
In some translations, Peter's words read: "you have been turned to the Shepherd and Guardian" of your souls. Isn't that lovely? Think about it.....it would have been especially sweet to the slaves who heard this letter read aloud, for some of them were mistreated by their earthly masters. Peter encourages them (and us) by reminding us all we are under the tender care of the Good Shepherd -- the one Who has the welfare of all of His sheep in view.
And the word "turned," as we have mentioned before, makes us remember the image of the Shepherd with His staff, gently guiding us and turning us to the right path....making certain that we do not follow the wrong path and fall headlong from the precipice. We'll back this up with some verses in a moment. The word "guardian" is the Greek word "episkopos," where we later derived the word "bishop." We see both words applied to church leaders as their responsibilities -- it means to watch over in the sense of guarding from harm. Jesus, the Best Shepherd, watches over our souls.

Hmmmm. Does the fact that Jesus is watching everything that we think, say, and do make us uncomfortable? Or does it make us comforted? (Grin) If we are striving to live a "godly life in Christ Jesus," then our focus will be on the cross, where the Good Shepherd laid down His life for us, His sheep. If that is the case, it should be a comforting thought, to know that He is keeping watch over our souls. If we seek to follow Him, He will feed, lead, and guard us. (Wow, there's a lot packed into that small sentence!)
We mentioned that Peter's words were translated as a passive verb in some translations. "You have been turned."  Again, I would like to remind myself and all who may read here, that we don't turn to Christ because of our awesome intelligence. We don't turn to Jesus because we have amazing will power. When we turn, it's because God graciously turns us!

Let your hand rest on the man at your right hand,    the son of man you have raised up for yourself. Then we will not turn away from you;    revive us, and we will call on your name.  Restore us, Lord God Almighty;    make your face shine on us,    that we may be saved. (Psalm 80:17-19)

I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart. (Jeremiah 24:7)

Though at the same time, it's our responsibility to turn from sin to God when we are offered the opportunity:

Let the wicked forsake their ways    and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,    and to our God, for he will freely pardon. (Isaiah 55:7)

I think Peter is saying that our salvation involves our responding to the "turning" of God, by turning away from our sin and turning toward Him. It's turning from our self-willed life that seeks to have our own way (this patch of green grass is best, so I don't want to follow the Shepherd to higher pastures...) to a life that is yielded to the shepherding and guardianship of our Savior. Our lives should be lives of consistent growth in submission to Him.

Those of us who are moms, or have helped out in family life with other folks' kids, will certainly identify with this..... what happens when one of two children is sick with a fever, and needs attention, extra fluids to drink, etc -- and the other child is pleading, crayons and paper in hand, for our attention? Well, most of us are going to say that the sick child, the hurting child, needs our special attention, while the other will need to wait a moment or two. It doesn't mean that we love one child less -- just means that we need to lavish some special attention on the child who is hurting.

The cross says that God loves all of us the same, but that He has the capacity to especially love and guide those who are hurting. Those who are under the penalty and power of sin. If we will turn to Jesus and trust what He did for us on the cross, He will deliver us from both the penalty and the power of sin, by being our Shepherd and Guide. You see, He loves all of us just as we are, but He loves us too much to leave us that way. He wants to heal us from sin.

He wants to give us these gifts:
Eternal life  (Romans 6:23)
Forgiveness of sins (Ephesians 1:7)
Adoption into God's family (Galatians 4:5-7)
Deliverance from sin into purity (Titus 2:14)
Peace with God (Colossians 1:18-20)
The Holy Spirit within us (II Timothy 2:14)
I hope you will take a few moments as we are closing this study, to look up those verses. Have a time of prayer and communion with Him, and thank Him for each one of those gifts.
I promise you, it will make a difference in the rest of your day!!