I Peter 3:1-6 - Applying it to all believers

I hope everyone is still with me.....hope you are listening!  This passage is directed first at the married ladies, but there is so much here that applies to -- Every. Single. Believer.

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord.You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (I Peter 3:1-6)

You see, Peter is making a point to everyone here. And it's very similar to what he has said before..... he's saying that godly conduct is a powerful witness. Waaaaaaaaay more powerful than words that are not accompanied by godly conduct! He is not saying that a verbal witness is insignificant. Nope. In the proper context, words are essential to communicate the gospel. Peter's point is that unbelieving husbands (or wives, or friends, or school chums, or associates at work) are far more likely to be won by conduct than by preaching. They will notice attractive behavior and they'll be drawn to the source of that behavior....a relationship with Jesus Christ.

"In the same way" points back to the previous chapter's ending words. It doesn't mean that wives are to submit exactly as slaves do to their masters, but instead is connecting this new chapter to his whole sermon (if you will) on how believers submit to authority. Now, I know that some will be thumbing through their Bibles and landing in Ephesians....they'll point to Ephesians 5:21 and tell me that both husbands and wives are to submit to one another. They want to make I Peter irrelevant, since it applies to the culture of the first century.....
I know, right?
Both those letters were written in that time period! So we need to dig deeper! I don't believe we can toss out the submission of wives to husbands in such a casual, even cavalier way. In Ephesians, Paul recognizes a sense in Christian marriage in which each partner submits in love to the other under the lordship of Christ. BUT -- he also goes on to state the husband is the head of his wife, just as Christ is the head of the church.
So, before we are tempted to throw this verse away, let's study what Peter means when he is telling wives to "be subject." And we are going to find (sorry if I keep pounding on this concept) that this applies to all believers, not just to us married ladies!
In our world, there is a whole luggage cart of baggage that comes with the term "submission." If we cringe when we hear the word, it may be because of our culture (think of Debra or Marie in "Everybody Loves Raymond" or other wives in other shows). Or it may be because you have known folks who abused the passage to make it say something it was never intended to mean. Don't forget the result Peter was looking for: "that they may be won over" applies to bosses, spouses, friends, and more.
So please listen as we look at some things that the word "submission" does NOT mean!

Number one -- Submission does not mean that we put our husband, our friend (or anyone we are trying to win to Christ) before our Lord. The whole letter that Peter wrote assumes that our allegiance to Christ takes top priority. That devotion is first, over any human allegiance. We are followers of Jesus Christ before anything else.

Number two -- Submission doesn't mean agreeing with absolutely everything that our husband (or that friend, or our boss) says or does. Peter is speaking very directly here, and he is assuming that by the time they have read (or listened) this far in the letter, they've been reminded and encouraged of their commitment to Christ and to His Word. They've thought about their experience with the gospel and remembered their choice to accept that salvation -- regardless of what anyone else thinks about it.

Number three -- submission doesn't mean that we are less intelligent than the person we are trying to influence for Christ. In fact, the believer who is trying to witness to an unbelieving spouse or friend has greater spiritual insight than the unbeliever does. And Peter encourages the Christian women he's addressing, to work at influencing their husbands!

Number four -- Submission does NOT mean being fearful or timid. Nope. No way. Peter even exhorts the women to be courageous, to not give in to fear. Peter makes the point that the Christian woman is a free woman; when we submit to our husband we do it in freedom, not in fear. If you respect the authority of an unbelieving employer, you do it in freedom, not in timidity. And please hear me on this: a woman should never submit herself to any kind of abuse. If we are in an abusive relationship, it's imperative that we get help. Don't think for even a millisecond that we need to tolerate abuse, to be submissive. That's a lie from Satan. Please get help.

Number five (and this is a SUPER big one) -- Submission doesn't mean inequality. Please re-read that sentence if you want. This command for a wife to be submissive to her husband does not imply that the woman is inferior. We are all equally created in God's image. Think about it: is there inequality in the Trinity? Is Jesus any less divine than the Father? Less powerful? Inferior in any way? Of course not! Jesus is equal to God the Father. Yet Jesus submits to God the Father......He is sent by the Father. All this means is that Jesus has a different role, a different function. So, a wife's submission does not mean she is inferior or unequal -- it simply means that she has a different role within the family, for the benefit of the family.

I found this definition in one of the commentaries, and I liked it: submission is the disposition to follow a husband's authority and an inclination to yield to his leadership in Christ. See how that is different from the five "nots" up above? (Grin)

Even the fact that Peter would write a section of a letter addressed to women was pretty revolutionary.... the society of the time kept women down. They couldn't have a say in much of anything. They had no choice but to submit. So why is Peter telling them to submit?  In the original language, the term literally meant to "place yourself in submission." Peter is saying, you've been doing this because you had no choice. Now you are given a voluntary choice..... this is going to be an act of will, instead of a legalistic requirement. He is making decision-makers out of peeps who had been forbidden to make decisions before.

Here is the heart of it....Peter is looking for all of us to have a heart attitude, a spirit of humility by choice, not because of being coerced, or because we have no choice. When we respect an employer, it is by our choice. When we respectfully try to influence a friend, it's our choice to behave in a way that is a witness. For the wife, submission is an attitude of "I delight for you, my husband, to take the responsibility in our family. I'm glad when you lead with love. Please don't be passive, or let things slide. I will honor Christ by yielding to your leadership. As long as you don't lead this family into sin, I will follow you."
Isn't that beautiful? Isn't that a relief? Submission is not what some people think it is today. And it is even applicable, Peter says, to those who are married to unbelievers.

I hope you will join us tomorrow as we continue.....