Question #1: Have you ever asked your husband to do something --- repeatedly? Like, shall we say, several times daily?
Question #2: Have you ever made a list of things that you would like for your husband to do, and posted it prominently -- in a place in your home where he can't possibly fail to see it? Several times daily?
Question #3: Have you ever asked him to do something, and then when he doesn't complete the task in the time you feel it should be done in, have you sighed (loudly) and done it yourself? And made a fair amount of noise doing it, so he will be sure to note that YOU are doing it, when you asked HIM to do it?
I must confess, that in the thirty-four years that I have been married to my Mr., I have indeed used all of these tactics on him at least once. My hand was raised, ladies. I am a nag.
Now, that's not to say that I still use these strategies. I would like to think that in those years, I have grown up a little, but hey! I'm human, and I am still tempted to do those (and worse) in order to get my way!!
With as many wives as Solomon had, I expect that he thought he was an expert:
A continual dropping . . . like a drip from a leaky faucet . . . we all know what Chinese water torture is, right? Personally, I think that nagging can be one of the most toxic things in a relationship. You know why I know this? Because I am a Type A personality, and I am married to a laid back, mellow kind of Mr.Pro 19:13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
Pro 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.
For years I would be channeling my inner Martha, and bustling around doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., and not make much time for him. I allowed it to be very obvious that I thought I was doing the right thing, and that I sure. Would. Appreciate. Some. Help. Did I get it? Yes. Was it cheerfully given? Not so much.
However, when I changed my tactics (this was due to conviction and scripture reading, girls, not a self-help marriage manual) and began to take time to sit down with him and focus more on what he was paying attention to, and genuinely enjoy spending time with him, things changed. He became much more attentive to things that I wanted to focus on, and more cheerful about things that I thought were important!
In the second verse there, "prudent" has several synonyms listed in my study notes: intelligent, wise, skilled. Hmm, I like the sound of that, don't you? And if I model those traits instead of nagging, then my Mr. will have cause to thank God that he has me!