Aging gracefully - wrinkle cream #1

 

Do you have your Bibles at the ready? 

How about those bandaids?

(I apologize in advance for this lengthy post.....grab a cuppa and settle in, if you will.)

Like we said on Monday, our study just may stomp on our toes some, and I hope that it will push us and make us desire to be more like our Savior. We said then that it was going to take work, and maybe making some choices. Intrigued? Let's jump right in!

When we wish to cooperate with God on crafting the "old" us; the person He wants us to be, there will be many different spiritual "wrinkle creams" that we can apply. The first cream is the choice to be a loving and forgiving woman.

Well, of course, we may say. That's what I want. What's so hard about that? That's a wrinkle cream that is easy to live out in our daily lives. But is it so easy? I would guess that each of us would gladly affirm that we are indeed loving women. But possibly the greatest test of whether or not we truly love others is our capacity for forgiveness. To forgive those who have intentionally wronged us. To forgive those who have thoughtlessly hurt us.

Take a moment and think. Are there some people, or even one person, that when they come into view, an old hurt or an old slight or insult comes to mind? When we see that person are we a bounty hunter? Are we "out to get" them? Or are we ready to push aside that thought and forgive them?

Its something well worth considering. . . . 

Greg Laurie said, "Jesus Christ came to pay a debt He did not owe, because we owed a debt we could not pay."  When we finish our study, we will realize that when we have a full understanding of God's forgiveness of US, we will have a proper attitude of forgiveness towards others. 

Why do we have such a problem with forgiveness? Why are neighbors feuding with neighbors? Why do church members have conflicts with other congregation members? Why are spouses fighting with one another? Why are parents and children angry with each other? Everywhere we look, there is turmoil and even bitterness. With all of our technology and medical marvels and inventions, we humans have not yet learned how to play nice with each other! Forgiveness just doesn't come naturally to us, even though many people want and need to receive it. They are weighed down with guilt, and they need to hear the words, "I forgive you."  

Human beings want justice more than they want to forgive. It's like we want to be the hard-riding bounty hunter in the old western television show. Our sinful hearts want to see someone "pay for what they did."

Then bitterness sets in. It can strangle the goodness in our hearts. Grudges and resentfulness can go on for years, and that "root of bitterness" the Bible talks about can really take hold. But the sad part is that the one who refuses to forgive locks themselves into their own prison of bitterness. Our vengeance is not hurting the other person nearly so much as it is hurting us!

The comedian Buddy Hackett is quoted as saying, "I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're out carrying a grudge, they're out dancing!"

Even more significant than the bitterness that can set in, is the fact that the lack of forgiveness causes us problems - between ourselves and God.

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15, NIV)

Whoaaaa. That's pretty important, no? But wait, is Jesus saying we earn our salvation by forgiving others? Or that it's a measure of whether we are saved or not?

In a word, no. But let me explain, just in case you are ever asked that, OK?

Remember in Matthew 18, where Peter was trying to figure out this issue of forgiveness? The Rabbis taught that you should forgive an individual three times. So, Peter was trying to go "above and beyond" and asked if he should forgive seven times . . . instead, Jesus answered that he should forgive seventy-seven times! In other words, "don't keep a list, Peter, true love doesn't keep a record of wrongs!"

In order to make sure that everyone understood, Jesus told a parable. If you would like to refresh your memory, we will pause a moment and let you turn to Matthew 18 and read the chapter, OK?

All done? OK . . . the king's servant owed his master a huge amount: ten thousand talents. (The man would have had to work the rest of his life for free and still would not have repaid it.) But the master was merciful and forgave him his debt when the servant pleaded with him. 

Wow! I bet he felt like he had a new lease on life! I bet he was inspired to be super nice to everyone after that!

Ummmm, no. He found someone who owed him "pocket change" compared to what HE had owed, and grabbed him, choked him, demanded payment, and even had the debtor thrown into prison!

Oy.

What was the result?

So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their master all that had happened. (Matthew 18:31, NASB)

The other servants who witnessed this were not just mad; they were sad, disheartened. 

What did the king do when he found out? He reprimanded the servant for not showing the same mercy he had benefitted from - and he had the unforgiving servant thrown into jail.

Well, of course we are familiar with the application, right? The king is God Himself, and the servant with the huge debt is me! And you! And everyone here on earth. We each owe God an incredible debt for our sins. We have fallen short of the mark; we can never repay God the debt we owe for our sins, yet He cancels our sin debt because He is merciful.

The servant who owed a minor debt is someone who has wronged us and that we have failed to forgive. We put on our "bounty hunter" hat and we want to demand that they pay for the debt they owe us. We want justice for the hurt and the wrong.

But what does this type of attitude do for the cause of Jesus Christ? For His kingdom? If we look at verse thirty-one, we see that the lack of forgiveness amongst the believers in the body of Christ will grieve other Christians. And turn away unbelievers we say we want to reach for Jesus. (Christ ruling in our hearts is supposed to change our hearts and make us different.)

Many Christians are living in jails of their own making. They are not enjoying full fellowship with God. They feel unforgiven, tormented, and bitter. They know that something isn't quite right, and when they are honest, they see the unforgiveness in their own hearts.

When we forgive others, our own hearts are set free. Mercy allows us to enjoy the power and joy of our salvation. You see, the first part of the parable tells about our pardon from God. The second part is telling about how we maintain our complete fellowship with God . . . forgiving others allows us to walk intimately with Him. We are completely delivered from the bondage of sin.

Therefore there is now no condemnation at all for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1, NASB)

If I regard wickedness in my heart,
The Lord will not hear; (Psalm 66:18)

Truly, unforgiveness creates many problems for us believers . . . it hinders our prayers; it is an obstacle to intimacy with our Father God; it makes it necessary for God to get our attention and discipline us. The Holy Spirit is what prompts us, nudges us, motivates us to be forgiving:

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Wow. There it is. In a nutshell. 

Our Bible even gives us examples so that we can learn and strive to emulate the forgiving spirit in these people: Joseph forgave his brothers; David forgave King Saul; Stephen forgave those who were killing him with stones; and our Savior forgave those who put Him on the cross . . . . I don't think any of us have been sold by our family members, had spears thrown at us, or been stoned.

To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” (I Peter 2:21, 23-24)

Surely we have all seen people who have been marked by bitterness. Life (or the people in it) have hurt and harmed them. We can see in their faces the years of bitter feelings. 

I'm hoping to smooth this wrinkle cream on my face - I want my face to show that I'm loving and forgiving. I want to be the woman He would have the Old Me to be.

Let's all smooth this wrinkle cream on . . . . let's resolve that if someone hurts us, we will not let the offense make us sin. We will ask the Spirit to keep our heart soft; don't let it harden against the transgressor. Let's remember that God would forgive our offender, and resolve to be loving every single day.

That "cream" will keep us from living a life of torment and bitterness. It will keep us in intimate fellowship with Jesus, because we have been set free by forgiving others. He forgave us the greatest debt anyone could ever owe -- can't we learn to forgive one another?

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:13-14)