Thursday, May 9, 2013

Yes, Christians can be sexy

An adulterous woman consumes a man, then wipes her mouth and says, "What's wrong with that?"

"This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, 'I've done nothing wrong.'
Proverbs 30:20

The Bible is full of sex. Good sex. Bad sex, like is portrayed above. Many Christians feel it is a subject (and feelings) that must be avoided at all costs. I'm here to say they are wrong.
Now, I hear some of you gasping in disbelief, so let me explain, OK?
Biblical wisdom is good counsel, and at times is earthy. In fact, in the first nine chapters of the book of Proverbs, there is an awful lot of fatherly advice on the subjects of love, romance, and sex.
I think it is very interesting and important that this material is a mixture of realism, understanding – even sympathy – and a flinty, no-nonsense demand and warning. Perhaps that is because Proverbs is written for the young in the first place, though that sort of mixture of attitude and approach should always be ours. We should be unwilling to excuse bad conduct in this area of life; we should leave no one – especially our children – in the dark as to the tragic consequences that await those who fail to honor the Lord in their romantic and sexual life -- but we have all lived in the world and tried to maintain a pure heart. We can sympathize with those who have fallen or who are struggling to submit this area of their lives to Christ.

Well, one very quickly gets the idea when reading what this father in Proverbs says on the sexual life that the man knows what he talking about from first-hand experience. He’s felt the terrific power of temptations and knows what it takes to resist them. His counsel, his wisdom is iron cloaked in velvet!

There is something wonderful, and even amazing about the sexual life. How all of it works, how function and feeling, reproduction and romance are combined into one highly charged, significant something. It is heavenly; it can be celebrated; it can be enjoyed; and God can be thanked for it as long as it is pure and faithful sex. It cannot be celebrated if it is the selfish behavior of the person in verse 20! That is the example of a person who does not believe that sex is the expression of a life-long commitment, and a celebration of true and selfless love in marriage.

Sex is a mysterious wonder, a great gift of God, and something he has invested with mighty power. It is ours to enjoy to the fullest extent but it is also ours to steward, to protect, and to use as God intended, like all his other great gifts to us. When it is so used, as in marital sex that is loving and romantic and selfless, men and women find what a wonderful mystery it is! When it is misused it destroys individual lives, marriages, families, and eventually whole societies.

So, back to my title. Yes, Christians can be sexy. In fact, as Christians we have a great advantage in this department! You see it works as it should when it becomes one more way of putting the interests of others before your own and loving someone else as Christ loved you! Wow! Think about that for a minute....

If you go back to chapter 7 of Proverbs, you will find a description of the ways that a woman "lays a trap" for a youth, someone who is not as wise as the father giving the warnings. It speaks of tactile sensations, aromas, soft lighting and fabrics . . . okay, let's just be straight here. We are talking about aphrodisiacs -- things that pave the way for a lovely experience. Now, I hope I haven't lost you here . . . I'm still the same old Snoodles that you know. 

If you look over at the Song of Solomon, where a bride and bridegroom are speaking, you find many of the same things.  In the Song, the bridegroom and the bride take turns saying wonderful things about each other. Have we forgotten the power of an affectionate word? Taking the time to give evidence during each day that we love one another . . . have we forgotten how fun it is to surprise each other with a chore done, or a favorite small gift given? And yes, taking from our modern culture whatever the new-fangled options are for myrrh, cinnamon, and other smells and tastes ...

Are we somehow less spiritual because we cultivate the pleasure we find with our spouse? Far from it! Make it as pleasurable as you can, for the Bible encourages us to live holy lives and be "intoxicated" with the love of our mate!

1 comment:

Belinda said...

I'm sure that in many cases, divorce is a result of not cultivating the wonder of marital intimacy. Sex, loving words and actions. It's a shame there is so little of it today. I feel positive there would less divorce and more lasting marriages if there was more of that.
Great post Jacque!!