Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I am sorry---there is no way that I can type a study tonight. It has been a really really rough night around here. At least for me. Pretty much just for me. Some emotional stuff concerning my quilting hobby and how much of it that I need to just give up on out of necessity. Some days I just want to quit it all. The blog, the quilting, the machine---sell everything and have it out of my face always staring at me. I have spent over 20 years wishing for time to sew. I am weary of it. I threw out several projects tonight because I just had to. When something causes us to sin then it is our job to get rid of it. I was getting frustrated that I never had time to work on these projects. Lusting after having time to sew is no different than a man lusting after a woman. It really isn't! And the fact that it was causing frustration and un-happiness means that it had to go. My place in this world is rearing two boys. It's not about me!

 I feel much better now just telling you gals. I couldn't really share that on the quilt blog. Most would not understand.

Now about this study---

 It is now 11 p.m and Stephen is still wired for sound. This study always gets TOP priority once Stephen goes to bed. But I cannot find a happy medium. One week I tried type up the entire week at once. I just worked on it any moment of freedom that I had over the weekend until I had the week done. But then I felt my own quiet time lacking during the week. I use this study for my quiet time.

 On the other hand, when I type it nightly I feel rushed at night to get it done in between the time Stephen goes to sleep and when he MIGHT wake up. He does in fact wake every night and end up in my recliner with me because his father's snores wake him and I have no idea how to combat that. He's got a loud fan. So I feel like I have to rush the study. I don't like that at all. And tonight I am just not up to that.

So I think I am going to go back to typing the whole study at once--and then reviewing it each day as it posts.
Thank you for your understanding in letting me share some heart stuff tonight. Not that it was your choice :)

Today lets all be in prayer that we are giving God our BEST time each and every day. We will get back to chapter 11 tomorrow but you could read ahead and read it again when I post about it. A little extra reading in God's Word never hurts!

Have a good day in our Lord!


Belinda said...

Tonya, I think we all have trouble managing time now and then. I certainly do. And I find at times that I lust after sewing time myself. So, I certainly understand your frustration. I also have mentioned on my blog my own quest to find the right time for studying God's word. Other responsibilities seem to push in until I feel rushed as well. Satan uses everything he can to pull us away from what we know is right. Take the time you need to refresh yourself in the Lord. We will all wait patiently for you as God leads you in this study.

Cyndi said...

God gives us SO much grace and we should give each other grace too. I will be praying for you today. We ALL have days like that. We all have our own struggles too.

God bless you Tonya (and to all the ladies who are doing this study)

Mariliz said...

Tonya, I can so relate, I have cut down my blogging/reading time significantly! I just couldn't get everything done that needed to be done, it was stressing me out! I only read when I actually have time, and I'm not commenting as much. But my real life is much happier because of it!

Belinda said...

Mariliz, that's something I REALLY need to do. I've cut down a lot on my commenting. I need to cut back on reading too. It takes so much valuable time.

Tonya said...

But I always feel so guilty for cutting down on reading and commenting. Like if they read and comment on mine then I need to do theirs. I don't know what to do because this would help a lot!!

Belinda said...

It's like giving gifts Tonya. Someone gives you a gift because they want you to have it. Not because they want one back. (or at least they shouldn't!) Commenting is a nice gift you give someone because you feel touched in some way by their post. If you do it out of obligation, it doesn't mean nearly as much. If you are interested, moved by their post, or want to express your excitement, by all means comment.

I would rather read a comment that was heartfelt, than a quick note just for the sake of commenting. It's a nice gesture, but we don't all have time for that. And most of us understand.

Snoodles said...

Absolutely! I agree with Belinda...a comment on a blog is a heart gift - if something you read touched your heart, then you can let that person know (if you want to). Personally, I don't worry if I don't get comments, and when I comment on other people's blogs, I don't feel bad if they don't answer. We all have lives to live, and we have to set our priorities. As Christians, we have different priorities, many times.
Tonya, please take some time for you. And time for your boys. They are far more important than we ladies - and we can read ahead, go back some, or even pick another book of the Bible to study for a few days. I truly believe that God considers Moms to be VIPs, and that He considers that work to be especially important. It won't hurt a thing for you to take a break. It also won't hurt a thing for you to drop back to every other day posting? Just a thought.
We all appreciate what you do - and as moms, we realize we all have limitations. Take a deep breath and plan what works for you, and the rest of us will roll with it!!
Love you!

Tonya said...

Tonight was a good night in our home. I will blog about it in a bit. But I want to tell you all thank you about the commenting thing. I have the ok to not always comment. Some of you are like sisters and that is how we carry on our daily conversations and I love it but other times it is a bit of a burden. I will work harder on commenting when it is meaningful!

Belinda said...

That's the ticket Tonya! I am the same way Jacque is. I don't worry that others don't comment on my blog posts. It's a bit more meaningful when someone writes something heartfelt, than just a few words to fill the comment block. ;) And I do a LOT of lurking. I appreciate the blogs I read, but I don't feel the need to post a comment on most of them. So glad you are doing better!!